Come again another day
Bottoms Off would like to play
I am almost through my pack of BCP and I have an ultrasound tomorrow to see what my ovaries are up to. I'm not feeling very optomistic. I have been feeling a lot of weirdness in my ovaries. It's not pain. It's not uncomfortable. It just feels like activity. It feels like a bad sign to me.
I haven't had any breakthrough bleeding on the pill, but the past couple days my uterus has felt crampy off and on.
I have no idea what any of this means, but I am so scared that tomorrow I am going to see those same big black blobs in my ovaries again. I've seen those big black blobs at every ultrasound since my cancelled cycle in December. Big black blobs at my baseline for my second cycle. Big black blobs before my second cycle was cancelled. Big black blobs at the new doctor's office.
I should be spending time meditating and visualizing these cysts getting smaller and disappearing, but all I can do is imagine them getting bigger and never going away. I need some good news damnit. I hope tomorrow is my day.