Sunday, April 26, 2009

A Short Post About Sex


When hubby and I started having sex (after we got married of course...not on our second date) I always had a much stronger sex drive than he.


This all changed after I had a miscarriage, a D&C, started fertility testing, started fertility treatments, and it started to feel like my body belonged to everyone but me. My sex drive began waning until eventually it was nothing, nada, very little sex drive what so ever. I don't need sex anymore and I rarely want it. I still have sex with my husband pretty regularly, but I'm just not into it like I used to be.


As of this weekend my husband and I had not had sex for a couple weeks. He has been sick and I certainly wasn't initiating anything.


But today...



After a weekend of my husband nagging...



And me putting him off...



We had sex...



And I LIKED IT!!!


Maybe spring is awakening more than the plants.
Let's celebrate and please tell me that I'm not the only one who has lost my sex drive through all this.

22 comments:

Betty Rubble said...

OR...maybe, just maybe your ovulating.

I have zippo for an erotic sex drive...but last week during ovulation...wooah baby!

IVF 40+ said...

I hear ya! Used to bonk like rabbits and now we can barely manage a grope. I am so glad you wrote your post - thought it was just me.

'Murgdan' said...

It's always nice when that happens. :-) Of course, we had sex today too...only it was doctor's orders, which is never quite the same...

Cassandra said...

Over my 7 years of IF, hot and cold would be an apt description. Usually nothing at all during treatments except according to dr's orders -- and some months nothing outside of treatments either.

Pregnancy, on the other hand, has been a different story. Who woulda thunk it?

Jo said...

Sex? What's that?

strongblonde said...

i second what jo said :)

just me said...

i am with you, trying to work on it, but it is tough sometimes, IF just doesn't feel sexy.

Mary said...

My husband was just making reference to this recently. We used to do it all the time and now...sometimes I'd rather scrub the tub out. Not that I don't want to be close to my husband and not that we don't have sex, but I think I do it a lot for him. My lower regions seem to have 'gone to sleep on me'.

I hope it comes back though!

Frau said...

That's great. I've stopped wanting sex after the first IVF. I figure things will start working again. But like you say, I want to keep the marriage alive.

Jennifer said...

You are not alone :) Since all the fertility problems started my sex drive went out the window and left me behind LOL

COME BACK, COME BACK!!!
Think it heard me!!! hehehehe

twondra said...

I hear ya. It's completely gone for me. :( Thanks for posting this. It helps to know I'm not alone.

Michelle said...

You definitely are not alone in this one. I could totally do without it.

Shannon said...

Ya you aren't alone....its few and far between!

womb for improvement said...

It is tricky, especially when you've been put on birth control which makes it feel like a 'waste'. I have to keep reminding myself sex is about more than procreation.

A Few Good Sperm said...

Thanks for posting this. I feel the same way. Once we found out sex would never equal baby, it just didn't do it for me anymore. It's just a reminder of how broken we are in that area.

sunflowerchilde said...

I am hot and cold, too. Sometimes I just don't wanna do it, although I will (almost) always fake it for my husband. He goes through so much and gives up so much for me. Sometimes I really do enjoy it, though, and I treasure those times.

C Lo said...

here's to more of *this*!!

:)

good luck


iclw

Bekah said...

OMG this post was right on time. At least your hubby isn't so upset about the lack of sex that he won't talk to you. I am trying the best I can and it's all I can do. So glad to see I am not alone. Hang in there!

the misfit said...

Hmm. Not so clear in my case. When we were originally TTC, we used to fight about having sex instead of having sex (pressure from timed sex. My DH thought it was awful). After I quit charting and started my own BFA, it got a lot better. But I certainly had a stronger (and, like you, the stronger) sex drive after we were first married. I figured the frequency and dedication faded because we've been married almost four years. That tallies with my married friends with kids, who don't have a lot of sex any more either. But maybe it is the IF...?

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