Sunday, April 12, 2009

Goodbye Bailey Jane

He was about fifteen years old and caring for him had become more of a chore than a joy, but we still miss him. We put our kitty to sleep. (Yes, he was a boy. I don't know why I called him Bailey Jane.) He has been in decline for a couple years, losing a lot of weight, but for about the last three months he was throwing up everyday, many times quite violently to the point of dry heaves. In the last week he stopped cleaning himself and started throwing up and pooping on his sleepy blankie every night. It was time.

I took him to the vet on Friday. My husband couldn't go. He was too emotional. I cried as I explained that due to his age we weren't interested in expensive tests or treatments. They understood and agreed, but I felt like a real asshole. It was quick, painless, and over in three seconds. As soon as it was done my first thought was, "I changed my mind."

I think we did the right thing. His quality of life had really declined in the past year. He couldn't eat properly because his teeth were bad, but we had already pulled so many teeth. He cried almost constantly when he was awake. He was having a hard time getting around. Am I justifying my actions? You bet, because I feel really bad that my kitty is gone and I made the decision.

We both felt pretty strongly that we couldn't have a baby and care for an elderly cat that throws up daily. It just seems unsanitary to live that way with a baby around. But his health decline was much faster than we anticipated; now we have no baby, no baby on the way, and no fur baby. The house seems so quiet. We have no being that is solely dependant on us for care. Now it is truly just my husband and me. We are alone for the first time.

30 comments:

{Mrs.M} said...

I'm so sorry :(
As hard as it was, you know you did do the right thing. Days will go by and things will get easier. I hope you two can smile again soon! :)

strongblonde said...

i totally think you did the right thing. i know it's hard. :(

xoxo

S said...

Awwwww big hugs hun.

DH and I had to do that to our cat a couple of years ago and it was the most traumatic thing I've ever had to do.

You did the right thing though, it's cruel to keep them going when they are so sick.

Thinking of you.
S X

birdsandsquirrels said...

Oh, I'm so sorry about your kitty. It sounds like you definitely did the right thing. It is so hard to say goodbye though, and it's natural to question your decision. Hugs.

It might be too early to think about getting another cat, but kittens are damn cute and are a good distraction...

Erica said...

That just plain sucks, Megan. I'm sorry. My sister was the one who took my family cat when we had to put it to sleep - she said she felt so guilty. Belle, the cat, just looked at her while she held her in her arms. :(

You did the right thing. What a shitty start to your weekend.

areyoukiddingme said...

I'm so sorry.

I had to take our family dog to be put to sleep. It sucked because it was 2 years to the day after my dad died. It sucked because the dog hated the vet. It sucked because the dog was almost put to sleep as a 6 month old puppy (he belonged to a crazy lady with a will) and had baggage 13 years later.

It sucks to put your friend out of his misery.

humbird97 said...

:-( I am so sorry.

We have 2 kitties too, and I cannot imagine the day we will lose them. Patch is my calico baby-girl, and Jersey is daddy's little boy. They are around 12 years old.

Be extra gentle with yourselves. You did the right thing, and loving is never easy.

princessoftides said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your kitty. No matter how right the choice, it's never easy to let a loved being go.

Sending you hugs.

Cassandra said...

I'm so sorry about Bailey Jane.

My cat is almost 17, and I've wondered many times whether she'll get to meet my future children and how long they'll be able to know her.

Take care.

Caroline said...

Oh sweetie - I am so sorry to hear about your cat.

Our animals are extra precious when we are battling infertility.

How are you holding up?

Caroline x

Nic said...

I am sorry for your loss. It was def time.

'Murgdan' said...

I'm so sorry :-(

Betty Rubble said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Callie said...

I am really sorry to hear about Bailey Jane. It's amazing how these little guys works themselves into our hearts and families.

Take care!

becomingwhole said...

I'm so very sorry.

UnicornMommy said...

Hugs.

I remember putting my cat down.I was in college. My Mom and sis. went with me. It was my birthday.yes seriously it was. test showed uterine cancer. had spread throughout her entire body.

I had never put a pet down before. I thought I would have minutes after the shot to stroke her soft fur and say goodbye to her.

No, it happened in seconds. I was literally floored. devastated.

I feel your pain. I've been there. Not a pretty place.

Hugs

Xillary said...

Losing a friend is never easy. You did the right thing for your kitty.

JamieD said...

I am so sorry. Please don't feel like an asshole - it ~was~ the right thing to do.

Thinking of you . . .

Sarah said...

I'm sorry about your cat. But you most certainly did the right thing. He was obviously suffering.

Mary said...

Oh, sweetheart. That is the hardest thing to go through. When I put my dog down last year I laid in bed for days and cried. It sounds like it was kitty's time. I'm so sorry.

noswimmers said...

Oh, I'm so sorry...making that decision is probably the hardest one you'll ever face. It's awful, simply awful.

It sounds like you did the right thing. You didn't want to see your little guy in any more pain.

((HUGS)) to you.

womb for improvement said...

Sorry to hear that. But as all the other commentors say it sounds like it was time and waiting would have been for your sake not his.

Take care.

xx

Shinejil said...

It's always so hard to say goodbye to a beloved kitty, even when s/he is suffering terribly. You made the right call, and BJ's end sounds swift and painless. Most likely, he was ready to go.

My sympathies for your loss.

Kristin said...

I am so so sorry and so sad for you. :(

Best When Used By said...

I am so sorry. Many of us have experienced the loss of a beloved pet. And had the same doubts. Did we do it too soon? Could we have kept him going a little longer? Should we have?

I got a twelve-week old puppy when I was 21 years old. I held him in my arms as he was put to sleep when I was 40. I sobbed like a child.

You will think of Bailey Jane often, and you will catch yourself thinking: "Oh, I need to stop at the store and pick up some cat food" or "I need to see if he soiled his blankie." It's all perfectly normal. It's just part of the process.

I know there is a giant hole in your heart where Bailey Jane used to be. Just permit yourselves the right to grieve for as long as it takes.

Hugs and understanding.

Silya said...

I am so sorry. Thinking of you.

Barefoot said...

So sorry to hear about this. I think you absolutely made the right decision, but know how hard it is to lose a fur baby. Hugs to you.

Jennifer said...

So sorry to hear this :( You did the right thing.

((SUPER HUGS))

Gina said...

I am so sorry for your loss, I think you made the right decision, even though it was a hard one.

battynurse said...

Here from LFCA. I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.

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