Wednesday, September 2, 2009

waiting

Everyday since I received my IVF calendar I spend about thirty seconds staring at it. OK, I really do this two or three or sometimes four times a day.

Sometimes I'm checking to make sure that I have taken all of my medicine.

Sometimes I am counting days until the next appointment.

Sometimes I am counting days until the next new medicine.

Sometimes I am seeing how far I have come.

All little ways to pass the time. All little ways to count out the hours, days, and weeks spent waiting.

and waiting...

and waiting...

The last few weeks have really gone pretty quickly. I've found myself saying, "It's already time to start shots! My period is already here! It's already time for my baseline ultrasound!"

But this week has been different. This week has been incredibly slow. This week has been incredibly long. It's only Wednesday! So odd, because this week has been the most action filled week to date!

Maybe this week seems slower because work has slowed down a bit. Maybe this week seems slower because I have had a raging headache ever since I started the estrogen suppositories. Maybe this week seems slower because the action has started and I can't wait to see what my ovaries are doing.

With all the drugs they give you for IVF, why can't they give you one that makes time move faster?

W A I T I N G
S U C K S ! ! !

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, waiting most certainly sucks. If you ever get prescribed something to make it go faster, please let me know. I'll sign up IMMEDIATELY!

I hate waiting.

Anonymous said...

Are you at the point where you are waiting for the nurse phone call after a wanding or blood letting?

It's all hurry up and wait...then the two week wait..ugh.

I'm feeling you!

Hugs

TeeJay said...

I totally agree, waiting sucks. Whether it's IVF or "natural". We are always waiting on something...our period, baseline, injections...waiting for EWCM, a spike in temp, and the dreaded 2ww. The waiting never gets easier. Hang in there...WHEN you are successful you will find a whole new world of things to wait on. :-)

areyoukiddingme said...

I think the drugs actually make time move slower...

Sprudeln said...

I'm with you! I have all of my dates and countdowns in my Google calendar and I think I stare at that more often than I check my email.

I joined 3 book clubs and 2 stitch and bitch groups so that I'm always busy in hopes that the time will go faster. Nope - still slow, I just have more to do after work. :)

JB said...

I started a shit ton of home improvement projects while I count down to baseline (within this week....) AND bought a small library worth of books to read during stim and the million-week wait. What are the odds I will do any reading, vs instead consulting Dr. Google and my calender on a more-than-once daily basis? Hmmm. (The home improvement crap has to get done because I can't stand clutter or messes, if for no other reason.) Waiting is the olympic challenge of infertility.

Melissa G said...

Waiting does suck. ALOT.

I hope time starts to go a little faster, and brings you nothing but good news!

ME! said...

OMG DO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!! Waiting is just the bane of my existance. It is all I do. Even outside of IF world. I am waiting for my car to get fixed...waiting for my friend to comne get me for lunch...waiting to close on my house...waiting for my migraine meds to kick in.

JUST ONCE instant gratification would be nice...ooooo wine...that'll work!!!

Michelle said...

I could not agree more! It always feels like hurry up and wait. I HATE IT!

I hope the time starts going by faster.

Eb said...

waiting sucks the BIG ONE

Meg. said...

Amen, sistah!

You're being quite patient, all things considered.

Wednesdays are always the worst. They're such limbo days. Feels as if your week is still just beginning, yet you've been living it forever, and the weekend is so far away.

Hang in there!

Liz said...

I found myself working out how many hours until I could test, etc. Hours?! I mean what am I a kid before christmas.

Kate said...

I, too, have waitorexia
and nothing in the whole wide world makes time slow down like this

wishing you time passing the way you need it to and so much more than that, wishing you success! Happy stimming! May you have many mature follicles at just excactly the right time.

my acupuncture guy says, avoid heat, so no hot baths I'd say... go tepid for the moment.

good luck

Kate

Tara said...

Girl - I know that feeling! I would make a calendar and mark off the days. The good news is...it IS Wednesday...and every Wednesday night I feel like I have survived the worst of another week...

Good luck - here cheering you on!

One Who Understands said...

Yeah it does! And it seems like most of this IF journey is spent waiting!

K said...

Hi...picking up your blog from mekate and EB. Was supposed to be starting my stims along with you this week, but looks like not so much. Just want to follow along with another IVF veteran. Good luck...fingers crossed for you.
K.

Jill said...

I know you are having a hard time but at least you have a calendar of events to look forward to.... It could be worse.

Megan said...

Very true. Thanks for the reminder.

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