Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wouldn't It Be Perfect?

Wouldn’t it be perfect if this IVF cycle worked?

Wouldn’t it be perfect if I could go to my grandfather’s eightieth birthday party in October and face my newly pregnant cousin and all of her congratulations? I wouldn’t be ready to announce my own pregnancy, but I would have a secret.

Wouldn’t it be perfect if I could start saving and planning for nurseries and college funds again rather than wondering how much longer I can continue paying for fertility drugs and medical expenses.

Wouldn’t it be perfect if I could announce my pregnancy at Christmas time and actually enjoy the holidays, decorate my home, and put up the Christmas tree (something I haven’t felt like doing for the past two years)?

Wouldn’t it be perfect if this all ended with a baby? I could start working to repair my soul. I could feel happy again. I could move on to the next phase of my life.

Wouldn’t it be perfect that the baby would be born at the beginning of June when Tony would be on school break? We would have three wonderful, beautiful months together learning how to be a new family.

It would be so perfect I could just scream.

29 comments:

kores561 said...

Yes, it would be perfect! I have the exact same 'perfect' dreams too. My husband is also a teacher and we're starting stims for our IVF cycle next week... Oh and how amazing would it be to actually be able to spend money on something and GET something for it!!! :-) Hugs.

Lorza said...

awwww. I am sorry. Wouldn't it be perfect if there were guarrantees for IVF when you dropped off the check?!?

GOOD LUCK!!!

JB said...

Starting my stims next week, too....and I have to admit, I have given up on perfect. No Hallmark moments, no surprises (good ones, anyway), just clinical precision and waiting, waiting, waiting. And the money. And the worry. I think my concept of perfect has become less ideally qualitative and more shades-of-gray. In the yes/no game of infertility, my idea of perfection now would be to simply get a "yes" this time.

strongblonde said...

i love lorza's comment!! i think that would really make everything a little more manageable! money back guarentee, you know?

i hope everything works out!!

xoxo

callmemama said...

Yes, that would be absolute perfection...

Melissa G said...

I truly wish you all the perfect in the world.



Can I have some too?

Dana/WiredDesign said...

Perfect indeed!
Crossing my fingers for you!

areyoukiddingme said...

It would be perfect...

TeeJay said...

It would be perfect and I hope that it is perfect for you. I really hope you get to experience all of those things this time around.

The Patterson's said...

That would be perfect! I hope this cycle is it!

Bluebird said...

Yes, it would be. Fingers crossed for your perfect.

Clio said...

it would indeed be sweet! I hadn't even thought about that... preparing for the holidays with a baby on the way...
btw, my grandpa also turns 80 in October!!!! crazy!!
I can't go though, my family lives in south america, and right on his birthday weekend I have performances happening... :(( It will be sad to miss that.
crossing fingers that you get your BFP this time!

Brooke said...

good luck with the stimming process, remember deep breathes and pleasant dreams

B. said...

Yes, it would be perfect. And sometimes, perfect HAPPENS! I hope this time, it's your perfect that happens. My fingers are crossed for you. Good luck!

Logical Libby said...

Even if it doesn't turn out to be perfect, I think you'll find your soul is fine, and much stronger because of the battles you have gone through.

I do hope you get to wipe the smug look off your cousin's face...

Michelle said...

It would be beyond perfect. I hope all those things happen for you!

ASP said...

Love this post! Praying for "perfect" for all of us!

mekate said...

It would be perfectly perfect.
warmly,
Kate

K said...

Wishing you perfection.! Thanks for your comment.
K.

GS said...

here is too perfect.. Best of luck!

serenity said...

It would be perfect. Fingers crossed for you.

xxx

IF Optimist, then... said...

I want that perfection for you. Cheers and hope for a perfect day very very soon.

Kate said...

Here's hoping that you get this shot at perfection - it sure sounds good to me!

Betty Rubble said...

It WILL be perfect! Keep thinking positively and it will be perfect!

Mad Hatter said...

While I was reading your post, I was reminded of that game, 'Perfection', where you have to get all the pieces in place before the timer goes. I loved that game, but it was incredibly stressful...I guess I just loved winning. I am sending lots of good energy your way that you beat this game and have the perfection of all of those wonderful moments this coming year.XO Maddy

womb for improvement said...

I wish I could reassure you that practice makes perfect, but the amount of 'practicing' we've done would mean we'd have got perfect a long time ago. But fingers firmly crossed.

Gabby said...

it's pathetic that you do everything rigth and it doesn't always turn out perfect. i am really hoping, hoping hoping and praying that this time it does!!

Yael said...

It would be perfect!!

I know it seems like too much to wish for...but it will work for you one of these months!

KuKd Chick said...

Yes, oh my goodness. All of that would be ever so perfect it hurts. ((Hugs.))

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