Sunday, September 20, 2009

What do you mean I'm not done yet?

Everything I've done this cycle has been focused on making good eggs, praying for good embryos, making it to transfer. Done. Done. And Done.

What do you mean I'm not done yet?

I didn't allow myself to think ahead to this part, but yesterday it hit me...after all our successes this cycle, at this point, we still have only a slightly better than 50% chance of a positive pregnancy test.

*sigh*

So far I have had some pretty strong reactions to the progesterone. I'm tired. My boobs hurt. And yesterday, when I started Endometrin I got a nasty stomach ache and slight fever that kept me up most of the night. (The Endometrin insert says that this can happen, but still makes me nervous for my embryos.) The bottom line is that I am not going to be able to judge success based on pregnancy symptoms because I already got em.

It seems like infertility is like that old affirmation elementary school teachers love, "No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something." Some of us make great eggs, but our uteruses leave a little to be desired. Some of us have great ovaries, but are dealing with some genetic condition. Some of us have no problem getting pregnant, but just can't seem to hold on.

I have crappy ovaries. Hubby has crappy sperm. I hope I am good at implanting and holding on to pregnancies. I hope this is my time to shine!

28 comments:

Kate said...

Wishing you the best of luck.

womb for improvement said...

Yeah fingers crossed you've found your talent.

Betty Rubble said...

Hugs. I too hope this is where you shall shine!

edward ramirez said...

Good luck and hang in there! I'm hoping this is it for you two!

The Patterson's said...

I hope so, too!!

I had some pretty bad reactions the night after my transfer, too. Something I didn't experience the first time, but that was the cycle we got pregnant. Hope you are feeling better and get your BFP!!

JMH & RELH said...

Hoping for good news your way!

JB said...

I've heard time and time again that the cycles that produce the most side effects turn out to be the winners! Hoping right along with you...

Mad Hatter said...

Boy, do I understand your thoughts during the 2ww! My uterus says "Hi!" To your uterus! Here's hoping that we are both very implantable and sticky!!!!
Hang in there, sister!

callmemama said...

I hope so too! Best of luck riding out the 2ww :)

Fertility Chick said...

Sending lots of good thoughts your way - I hope this is your time to shine too!!

sunflowerchilde said...

Oh gosh, good luck! Hang in there! I'm trying really hard to remember from the beginning that even after all that there's still only a 50% chance, but it's hard to not get your hopes up. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

K said...

Slightly better than 50% translates into a better chance at succeeding than not. :) Cheers!

hope4joy said...

I hope this is your time to shine also. You are right this process has so many different levels that you can't spend any time being happy about getting great news because something else to worry about is right around the corner. Take comfort in the fact that you have made it this far and your BFP could be coming very soon! Good luck!

Bluebird said...

Hoping with you, with all my might.

Melis.sa said...

((HUGS)) i hope that beta brings the BEST news ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stacie said...

I am hoping for you, too!

UnicornMommy said...

shine baby shine.

baby dust sent your way....

hope you feel better soon.

mekate said...

I hate the perpetual "yes, but" part of this dang process. My darlin asked me not to focus on the things that could go wrong this time, and the only thing I can promise is that I will try not to dwell on it externally. Internally? I know too much.

Soo-- listen you, this could really happen, it could really work, and I am hoping hoping hoping for you that it will. Here's hoping this is the very last time you ever have to do any of this shite, and that this just simply works.

warmly,
Kate

Jennifer said...

((SUPER HUGS))
I am praying for you!!

I-V-F ME said...

praying for you. shine shine shine!!!!

Yael said...

better than 50% odds is about as good as it gets!!

Just remember it's better than a "normal" woman has every month.

Good luck!

Tara said...

Fingers crossed for you over here!

Shinejil said...

I'm hoping you've found your calling, too. :)

sonja said...

Good luck!! I am hoping I make it to transfer on Friday, so I understand some of you worries. I am so glad you got through all that and I hope a BFP is on the way!

(from LFCA)

Lucy said...

Congrats on making it this far! Hope the 2ww flies by and you have fun things to occupy you. Take it easy!

ICLW

Heather said...

I hope so too! Good luck in the TWW. Personally, I think that will be the hardest part for me as that's all I'll have to focus on. Take care!

Anna said...

We're all hoping for you too. Those odds are sounding pretty good to me and I'll be keeping everything crossed.

I've tried to train myself into not repeating odds to myself because it can't help and in IF they don't tend to be in our/my favour. You're doing everything that can be done. It only has to work out once and everything is good!

With buckets of positive thoughts and luck and good fortune.

Delenn said...

Thinking of you and wishing the best!

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