It’s been a busy week. I’ve been putting in extra time at work in order to get caught up before going on vacation next week. I’ve been cleaning the house since my mother will be coming for a visit the very day we return from vacation. Tony and I have been reestablishing our gym routine. And for the first time since September of 2008 we had sex for the purpose of making a baby.
This has been my first totally medication free cycle in ten months. I found an almost expired ovulation kit in my linen closet and it made me feel nostalgic for days of old, days when I thought that having sex might actually lead to a baby.
I peed through the whole box of sticks and nothing, nada, no go. Then I found a half empty box of ovulation tests and peed on those…goose egg. Then I went to the drug store and bought a new box of ovulation tests and peed through half of those until I finally got the smiley face on day 23 of my cycle.
In days of yore my cycle lasted between 26 and 28 days, so obviously I am still out of whack from my last IVF cycle. Or this is the new infertile me that was discovered last IVF cycle. (I don’t even know if it is possible to get pregnant the month after a failed IVF cycle, but if it’s not possible don’t tell me…just live in my fantasy world with me.)
Last night we lit the candles, put on some soft music, and tried to make a baby. (Don’t believe it…really I was perched on the edge of the bed on all fours, telling my husband to hurry up so that I could watch The Messiest Home in the Country on TV. Anyone else watch that? Hoarding is so sad.)
But before all the action started, as if my bad eggs and hubby’s less than stellar sperm aren’t obstacles enough to us conceiving our own child, Tony says to me, “I probably shouldn’t have gotten into the hot tub at the gym tonight.” Ya think?
We have a snow ball’s chance in hell of conceiving a baby, but I don’t care. I have done for myself what my medical staff has not been able to do for ten months. I have given myself a possibility (although slim) of being pregnant. I will have a two week wait this month. I will wonder if I could be, might be, maybe, possibly pregnant.
And maybe, just maybe I might get a miracle.
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25 comments:
Hey Ms. Megan: you know, I have to say, stranger things have happened! You never know. My Hope Meter is WAY up so I will be hopeful for both of us! Thinking of you guys. Glad you're getting to have a 2ww.
Sending happy pregger vibes your way sister... you never know!! :)
Girl, you are so talented :) FIRST, I laughed and nearly choked on my VitaWater! Then you had me tearing up a little at the end :)
I always swore if I got pregnant on a non-medicated cycle I'd lie, lie, lie! Just to keep stupid people from making comments about vacation or relaxing or the like. But here lately - there seem to be enough stories of such miracles - online and with my IRL friends, too - that it allows me to believe a little. It's kind of refreshing to think about, isn't it?
Hoping, as always, that this is "it" for you. . .
I hope you do get your miracle, when you expect it least.
Thank GOD I'm not the only one who thinks--HURRY up because there is something on TV. LOL.
I hope that you get your little miracle!
Love the hot tub comment - ours has been sitting unused for the past 4+ years and I know my dh eyes it every time we pass it. Here's hoping for your miracle.
I like how you won't let your self tell stories of candles and soft music! That cracked me up.
I really hope your miracle is growing inside you right now!
there is always hope! I'd say DTD again today for good measure! =)
Best Wishes for your 2ww. There's always a chance no matter how small it is. I always remind myself it just takes one!
I am sure hoping it happens the "normal" way. I am in the same boat as you right now.
sex? what's that?!
Sending baby dust your way!
Miracles do happen...or so I hear (read). Good luck.
Wishing you fabulous luck this cycle, welcome to the 2 week wait.
Sex for pregnancy? Radical.
Truly, good luck. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.
warmly,
Kate
I'm in the OV test nebulous hell right now, so I know what you mean chica. Good luck in your 2WW. I think it would be freaking hilarious if despite the odds you have a hot tub baby. (Only the strongest survive.)
Good luck! Like many others have said, you really never know. Crossing my fingers for you.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that it works out for you. By the way, it is possible to get pregnant the month after a failed IVF. Check out www.bloorb.com , she did it.
I really needed this.
I'm in the midst of my post IVF AF and I wasn't even thinking of this month as a contender. We too have bad sperm and (newly discovered!) bad eggs.
But you're right. I will have a 2ww this month Damn it!
Hoping and keeping everything crossed for you! Hope the 2ww goes quick and gives you your miracle!
I think there's a sort of victory in getting pregnant unmedicated when all those doctors say you can't. Go for it!
Good luck - and the timing on this post is great. I just commented to DH how odd it is when I step back and think that getting pregnant for us probably won't involve sex.
i was just gonna say.. yippee look at mo! it happened to them, they are pregnant! miracles do happen.. and that is what I am hoping for for you..
you'll always have the memory of the messiest home in america on the night your dear sweet child was conceived.. i love it! hoping that for you!
seriously? that damn smiley face haunted me forever. i think that it made me afraid of peeing on all things :) i only took one HPT in the last year. i just get sick of seeing that dame blank face or negative. :(
i'm still super hopeful for you. :)
xoxo
Even though hope is a beeyatch, I'm still hoping for ya.
Good luck chicka! You cracked me your lovemaking!! LOL!
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