Yes, you read that right...the JOYS of being childless. There is nothing I enjoy about being infertile, but there is (at least?) one byproduct of infertility that is good...the child free vacation. All this past week as I was relaxing, renewing, and rejuvenating I was reminded how different our vacation would be if we were toting along a toddler.
We drove to our vacation destination this year. This is something I would not chose to do, but we did it for reasons my husband has forbidden me to tell the Internet. (e-hay ates-hay o-tay ly-fay). It was difficult for me to entertain myself for eleven hours in the car, but imagine driving eleven hours with a restless, "I gotta go pee", "are we there yet?" child in the backseat. I did manage to spot the license plates for 40 different states and 3 Canadian provinces.
The adult pool. Enough said. The children's pool at our hotel was crowded to the point of resembling tot stew. It was a bubbling cauldron of children high on soda, sugar, and a break from their overly structured lives filled with organized sports and music lessons. In contrast, the adult pool was quiet, serene, and the drinks were flowing.
We did not eat at restaurants with children's menus on paper place mats with mazes and word searches printed on the opposite side. Instead we ate at fancy restaurants that would not be tolerated by any self respecting french fries and chicken nuggets eating child (although some parents tried).
I started to feel almost satisfied with my life as I floated in the ocean without a care or worry while parents chased children on the beach with sunscreen in hand. I started to feel like maybe I was the lucky one, enjoying my child free vacation. Maybe I could enjoy a child free life too?
Then my husband caught a starfish while we were swimming and gave it to a little boy to examine. The boy was so excited to see it and touch it and feel it. The boy proudly rushed off to show it to his dad.
Child free vacations are great, but I'd rather have a child.
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17 comments:
This is a great entry. All of what you're feeling is normal.
I'm sure all of us IF gals have stopped for a split second (while waking up from a wonderful sleep-in session, rocking out at a concert, going an an action-packed vacation, etc) and thought, "I love my freedom!"
But, like you said, it only takes that tiny little reminder of the true joys of parenthood that we're missing out on to make us want to push forward harder and fulfill our dream of completing our families.
But hey, I'm seriously glad you had such an awesome vacation! Sounds like a dream. Good for you. =)
Hi Megan, I'm following your journey as I'm on my own IF journey too. I often think about the same things, but at the end of the day usually come to same conclusion. Yes there are nice things about being child free (as people that have children love to remind me), but I too would like a child. Praying for us all that are dealing with IF. Take care! haley
I had that exact thought this morning when I slept in until 10am. I thought "If I had a baby, I wouldn't be able to do that," quickly followed by "But I'd rather have a baby..." :)
Oh honey, it is so hard sometimes, isn't it? You try to get away from it all and it comes back and smacks you. When I feel this way, though, I try to remember that each situation - having children or living childfree has its benefits and drawbacks. Although, damned if the benefits of one appear to vastly outweigh the benefits of the other. And, I think you know which one I'm talking about.
I think you are in need of a super fantastic adult night out where there are no children anywhere in sight and you can really appreciate your temporary childfree state. Becuase, it can be tolerable, maybe even a little enjoyable. :)
ps - thanks for your comment on my blog. I will do my best to fulfill your wish, my dear!
Some days, it's enough to be content with your life - I think it's a good way to recharge your batteries for additional challenges.
It is great to enjoy some of the things that aren't available once you have kids. Hopefully that day will be not too far off, and you'll have a nice stock of fancy dinners to carry you through the McD's years!
Exactly! Well said! Sometimes I think it is nice that I can just do what I want when i want but I would much rather not be able to do that.
Amen!
Glad you had a wonderful time!
So true! Glad you had a good time at your much deserved vacation!
I hope you get both: a child and plenty of vacations without said child. I know that sounds callous, but my folks would take a vacation every year and leave me with my grandparents. I loved it--my grandma was a grade-A kid spoiler--and so did they.
So glad you had a good time! You sound restored.
I completely agree. I'm glad yo had a great, relaxing vacation!
OH YES!!! This is so true. I go through the same thing everytime I go on a trip.
I had a moment like this last weekend. We had my sister's girls overnight (they're 3 and 18 months). Both of them woke up at 3:30 a.m. The 3 year old had peed through her nightime diaper, and I don't know what the deal was with the 18 month old, but whatever, they were both up. So I laid down on the air mattress in the living room with them, and as I was lying uncomfortably watching a movie to get them to fall asleep (hey, they're not my kids, I did what I could), I thought to myself, "OMG, I'm never going to sleep AGAIN!" And I almost cried. Since then, I have been indulging in more sleep than normal, knowing that when our little one arrives in November, I will never, EVER get another full night's sleep. It's a sucky revalation.
There are a lot of things I'm going to miss about being childless. But yeah, I'd rather have the child.
Sounds a lot like the vacation I just had. Mixed feelings are normal, for sure.
I can sympathize completely! I love sleeping in, my small waist, the freedom, etc. But at the same time, to not have to endure any more infertility treatments would be GREAT!!! And I'll bet we're paying more to see our RE than we would if we had a child already...
Awesome post. I needed that.
How bizarre! I wrote a very similar post on Fertility Authority last week too. We have to appreciate what we have sometimes. (And very cunning use of code I'm sure your husband will never guess what it means ...)
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