Friday, June 26, 2009

Hope Slut

I’m having an affair with Hope right now. It’s a very dysfunctional relationship. Hope is starting to feel like a hot ex-boyfriend who was really good in bed. An ex-boyfriend who cheated on me time and time again. An ex-boyfriend that I’m really not quite over yet.

When Hope comes into town and gives me a call I think about not answering the phone, but then I always do. Hope takes me to dinner and we flirt and have a really good time. Next thing I know we are at a bar and Hope is buying me drinks. I start to get tipsy and soon we find ourselves in the bar parking lot making out in Hope’s car. I can’t help myself. I start to think, “Maybe this could work. Maybe we could get back together.” So I invite Hope home for the night.

The next morning it’s always the same. Hope seems distant. Hope makes some excuse and bails leaving me alone, empty, and regretful. I swear to myself that I will not fall for this again. This is it. This is the last time. Hope is out of my life for good.

But it’s all a lie. Because next time Hope calls I will turn into a giggly tween again.

I’m a Hope slut.

33 comments:

areyoukiddingme said...

Sooner or later, everyone succumbs to Hope's lures. (well, except for the clinically depressed, maybe) Encounters with Hope are supposed to be fleeting and lead to results, so here's to being a hope slut until - what? - August or September?

just me, dawn said...

ahh hope, the affair that never ends :) because someday she/he? may just fulfill our wildest dreams. keep hope close!

Lil Sumo said...

Love this post. We've all been there... it's inevitable. Sometimes that phone call is the only reason we get out of bed :)

mrsmoore08 said...

This is one of my favorite posts from you. You are so right. Hope is sometimes a tease but I'm holding on to it for you.

Just me said...

I love your posts. No one else can express things the way you do.

This post is so interesting... my relationship with hope is like my relationships with men when I was single. On the outside I played cool and tried to stay detached, while inside I was secretly attached and neurotic...

LizzyB said...

I've been lurking for a few weeks and I LOVE your blog. You express how I'm feeling so poetically! :) But, this is my first comment, because I just wanted you to know that this post sums it up absolutely PERFECTLY!

M said...

so TRUE! perhaps one day hope will mend it's ways and find out that we are good people and it will stick around for a real relationship... One can always hope ;)

WannabeMommy said...

I always get all hot and bothered when Hope comes around. Usually it's right around week 1 of my cycle.

sprogblogger said...

*snort* Funniest post I've read in a long time. Too damned true. It really is a dysfunctional relationship, isn't it? (But so much fun while it lasts!)

MelissaP05 said...

Awesome post and oh so true. Here's to us all being Hope Sluts at one time or another!

B. said...

It's so, so irritatingly true! But if we didn't hope each and every time, then why would we bother to keep trying? It's a terrible catch-22. But Hope is so nice for that short time... and maybe he'll stay next time.

IF Optimist, then... said...

Hope is such a gigolo. I mean, you even made a meter to Hope as a tribute...but he does have a nice ass. Who am I kidding? We may have to do a three way.

Bookerson said...

You are so right!

Michelle said...

Hope - always making promises he doesn't keep. I have yet to learn my lesson. I think I feel to lonely with out him. UGH!

twoweekwait said...

Lovely analogy. Mine is hope is Lucy with the football. I'm Charlie brown running to kick it and Lucy picks it up letting me fall every single time. And every single time when she promises she won't do it, I, Charlie brown, fall for it yet again.

womb for improvement said...

The thing is when Hope is on form its soooo goooood.

'Murgdan' said...

I hear that!

Melissa said...

what a great post! except for the hope-hangover and the mind F*** it brings on.

PJ said...

Cute post!

I'm wanting to punch hope in the gut right now.

mekate said...

Love this post, you are so right, so right on. Gosh, I am almost embarrassed reading it. I think we might be sleeping with the same hope.

Lorza said...

HEY- Are you the one Hope is standing me up for?!??! HUH HUH?!?!? HOPE IS MINE!! Lets go outside...oooooo, something shiny. ADD?!? Nah, I don't have it. ;)

I am sorry chickie. I want to get that hope-o-meter up soon.

Misty said...

I'm a hope slut too. I didn't know it until your post. Thanks for opening my eyes.

Tiffanie said...

i think we're all hope sluts in some way or another. once a slut, always a slut!

LM said...

I’ve given you the Honest Scrap award. Thanks for your honest and encouraging blogs! ~LM
http://dancingintherain-dispatch83.blogspot.com/2009/06/aw-shucks.html

Amber said...

I LOVE this post! And I can so relate to it. I had given up on hope for so many months and then the smallest glimmer of hope enters back into my life and all hell breaks loose. Infertility is SO unfair!!!

K said...

Nasty little four-letter word.

lifefamilysanity said...

Hope really is a whore. It comes, it plays, it inevitibly screws your best friend and takes off with your wallet. But it's so pretty, how can you keep it at bay forever?

Celia said...

Fabulous post. I have always pictured Hope as an overweight cheerleader, that was let on the team out of pity. She is very uncoordinated and always screws up.

Somewhat like the girl from the Blind Melon video, but all grown up. I FREAKIN HATE HOPE BUT SHE SUCKS ME IN A LOT.

pumpkinseed said...

I've never understood why Hope abandons me between cycles, now I see that he's playing around with everyone else! But like you, I'll take him back with arms open wide when the time comes.

mrsfinn said...

Hi everyone! My name is MrsFinn- and I am a hope slut.

There should seriously be AA-type meetings for hope... sometimes it's just too much. Not like we can stop ourselves- hope's just soooo damn attractive!!

Truest post EVER!!!

Monica LeMoine said...

Ah, hope- that two-timing bitch!!! (awesome post - thanks of making me chuckle out loud)

Jendeis said...

Love this post. I'm a hope slut too.

Kim said...

Brilliant post. I love/hate this analogy. I had yelled at my husband when he said to not give up hope that "hope is a four letter word". You're right. Hope is that guy who strings you along, says all the right things, makes you feel pretty and young and then leaves you feeling used up and like a fool...but waiting for him to come back again when you'll go through it all over again.

Breathe. Just breathe.

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