OK, I’m not an alcoholic (or at least my family hasn't planned an intervention yet), but I like to drink when I’m having a good time with friends. I like to have a drink with dinner when hubby and I go out. Occasionally I like to drink myself into a coma at home if I've had a bad day at work. I hadn't had a drink since I started on the injectible meds in November, but now I'm officially off the wagon.
I’ve had a hard time reconciling drinking with trying to conceive. At this point I would never drink if I actually got pregnant. Not that I think a drink during pregnancy is so wrong, but after all I have been through I would not chance anything.
When we first started trying to conceive almost two years ago I stopped drinking completely. Back then I thought conceiving would be quick and painless. (Back when baby making sex was actually fun and my husband was the only man with current intimate knowledge of my vagina.) I didn’t want one drop of alcohol in my body affecting those dividing cells. I gave up the "no alcohol at all" rule after my miscarriage. Instead I would not drink from the time I had a positive ovulation test until the inevitable day when my period would come. Then I would usually have a "since-I'm-not-pregnant-I-may-as-well-drink-celebration" with a pitcher of margaritas...
Eventually I had to start living my life, and quite honestly at that point I wanted alcohol to be a part of that life. I couldn't take the "are you pregnant?" looks when I turned down a drink during my two week wait to see if I was pregnant. However, when I started injecting myself with medications to get pregnant it has seemed some how wrong to drink.
That is one thing that has been hard about this journey, not giving up drinking specifically, but having my life hijacked. I don’t plan overseas vacations because I might be pregnant. I turned down a great job offer which required moving because my husband and I would be separated for six months and I didn’t want to put off trying to conceive. I’ve planned nurseries and designed college savings plans, and thought of names, and figured out the timing for maternity leave. All for nothing. But on the bright side, at least I have wine to help pass the time.