Saturday, January 3, 2009

Are You There God? It's Me, Megan.

I was a little bit of a late bloomer when it came to getting my period. I think I was about 14 years old when it happened, the last one out of my group of friends. I can remember my heart sinking each time another one of my girlfriends made "the big announcement" that she was an official flowing woman. I was still left behind in girlhood. I was totally obsessed with the book, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" at that age. I probably read it more than a dozen times, looking for clues in the pages as to when it would happen to me, a "Da Vinci Code" to my girl parts.

Actually I was obsessed with anything having to do with periods or boobs. I remember sneaking into my mom's stash of maxi pads. I would wear them from time to time just to see what it would feel like to be "in the club". This led to a particularly embarrassing moment when my mother, who did not have a lot of boundaries when it came to her children's privacy, caught me in the bathroom wearing a maxi pad. She asked, "Is there a reason you need to wear that?" Of course I was mortified and sheepishly answered no. Up to this point our discussions about sex amounted to a car ride where she asked if I knew what a period was and I answered yes. When *it* finally did happen I didn't tell her for a month.

Of course it didn't take long for me to wonder why I had been so anxious to start my period in the first place. For the rest of my teenage years and into my twenties it was a monthly annoyance. Oh sure, there were a couple times in college when I was damn glad aunt flo came to visit, but otherwise I never gave it much thought. I've always been regular. I've had cramps, but nothing to write home about most months. It wasn't until a month before my thirtieth birthday, when we started trying to conceive that I started paying attention to it. Enter a new obsession...waiting for my period *not* to come. But aside from that one time that ended in miscarriage, it's been there...month after month on day 27 or 28, unless I'm on Clomid, then it's a little later.

Well, call it the circle of life, call it irony, call it one of God's little jokes, but I'm back to being a thirteen year old girl. I haven't had a period since mid-November. I know that having my period is step one toward getting back on that IVF pony. Plus I'm a little concerned about how much is being built up in there. I'm starting to feel a bit like a freezer that desperately needs defrosting. So God, this time, just so there's no confusion, "I want my freaking period!!!"
***UPDATE*** This praying stuff really does work. After I hit publish I went to the bathroom and there it was...pink on the toilet paper. I guess that's why all those people are at church on Sunday while I'm at IHOP. Well, God, I hate to be greedy, but this time, "I want a freaking baby!!!"

6 comments:

'Murgdan' said...

The tampon instruction picture made me laugh out loud...and your story brought me back to the day my mother gave me a box of maxi pads and told me to keep them around for when the time came. Differently from you I was the FIRST one in the club...which trust me isn't very fun either.

Hope your period comes soon so you can get things started. :-)

Mary said...

Whoo hoo for getting AF!

Betty Rubble said...

We are cycle buddies...now my request is that we be pregnancy buddies...I wonder if God would answer that prayer for us???

I Believe in Miracles said...

This is funny. I know what you mean about wanting something to come but hating the wait and it coming. Good job starting the cycle!!

Kristin said...

I was one of the last in my group of friends, too... and I hated it! I totally remember the day AF finally came - my mom and I went to the store that night, and I wasn't sure how to tell her so I just grabbed a box of pads and put them in the cart, and when she looked at them and then at me, she started crying and gave me a huge hug. I was mortified!
Thanks for making me laugh this morning.
xo Kristin

Eggs said...

I could have written this post! I had my period a little later as well, was obsessed with Judy Blume books, and got my period like clockwork - its still like clockwork despite my efforts...every single month...right on time.

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