The Most Pitiful Fridge in the Cul de Sac

Suck It Uncle Sam

Well, I “only” spent $5800 in medical expenses this year. Not enough for a tax deduction. Certainly more than I put into my FSA (which was a big ol nothing.) I know I spent more that I can’t account for because who knew that I would even be a candidate for a deduction this year? This is killing the CPA in me. I am not very detailed when it comes to my personal finances. Here are some things that I would have rather spent $5800 on this year…

1. New sofa for the living room.
2. A vacation.
3. Nursery furniture.
4. Diamond earrings.
5. Paying off the new car.

Truthfully though, I probably would have invested it. So now it would only be about $3000 anyway.

This year I have a feeling we will meet the deduction criteria (again I low-balled the FSA not thiking my IVF would fail). Enter the *Big Envelope of Medical Receipts*. I’m keeping better track this year. Suck it Uncle Sam. Your ass is mine in 2009.

The Lupron is Cashed Man

You are finished first little vial of Lupron. I remember when I got you. I was so excited to be starting something different. You seemed half empty even when you were new. I remember when the nurse told us that you would last two cycles. Now you are gone. I see some little drops in you, but I can't get them. I'd like to, because I am cheap and you are not. (Well, you were only a five dollar co-pay this time, but when we meet again after the insurance has run out you will be expensive.) We've had a good time. You give me mood swings that turn me into Kate from John and Kate Plus Eight. What else have we done? Let's see...

Side effects that have been associated with the use of Lupron frequently include hot flashes and night sweats (actually this is kinda nice, saves on the gas bill), and less frequently palpitations, syncope, and tachycardias (??? huh ???). Other side effects include generalized pain (sweet), headaches, vaginitis (woah, woah, woah, vagi-what now?), nausea/vomiting (actually I find it more affects the other end), fluid retention (is that why I have cankles?), weight gain (at least I have something to blame it on besides nightly ice cream), acne, hirsutism, joint pain, loss of sexual desire (please, like I had any to begin with), depression (ya think), dizziness, nervousness, and breast changes such as tenderness and pain (this is particularly special, especially with all the hugging around the holidays). There have been no deaths directly related to therapy with Lupron (well, that's something I guess).

It's been 45 days of fun. I'm on to your twin sister now because I am still taking 10 units a day.

Are You There God? It's Me, Megan.

I was a little bit of a late bloomer when it came to getting my period. I think I was about 14 years old when it happened, the last one out of my group of friends. I can remember my heart sinking each time another one of my girlfriends made "the big announcement" that she was an official flowing woman. I was still left behind in girlhood. I was totally obsessed with the book, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" at that age. I probably read it more than a dozen times, looking for clues in the pages as to when it would happen to me, a "Da Vinci Code" to my girl parts.

Actually I was obsessed with anything having to do with periods or boobs. I remember sneaking into my mom's stash of maxi pads. I would wear them from time to time just to see what it would feel like to be "in the club". This led to a particularly embarrassing moment when my mother, who did not have a lot of boundaries when it came to her children's privacy, caught me in the bathroom wearing a maxi pad. She asked, "Is there a reason you need to wear that?" Of course I was mortified and sheepishly answered no. Up to this point our discussions about sex amounted to a car ride where she asked if I knew what a period was and I answered yes. When *it* finally did happen I didn't tell her for a month.

Of course it didn't take long for me to wonder why I had been so anxious to start my period in the first place. For the rest of my teenage years and into my twenties it was a monthly annoyance. Oh sure, there were a couple times in college when I was damn glad aunt flo came to visit, but otherwise I never gave it much thought. I've always been regular. I've had cramps, but nothing to write home about most months. It wasn't until a month before my thirtieth birthday, when we started trying to conceive that I started paying attention to it. Enter a new obsession...waiting for my period *not* to come. But aside from that one time that ended in miscarriage, it's been there...month after month on day 27 or 28, unless I'm on Clomid, then it's a little later.

Well, call it the circle of life, call it irony, call it one of God's little jokes, but I'm back to being a thirteen year old girl. I haven't had a period since mid-November. I know that having my period is step one toward getting back on that IVF pony. Plus I'm a little concerned about how much is being built up in there. I'm starting to feel a bit like a freezer that desperately needs defrosting. So God, this time, just so there's no confusion, "I want my freaking period!!!"

***UPDATE*** This praying stuff really does work. After I hit publish I went to the bathroom and there it was...pink on the toilet paper. I guess that's why all those people are at church on Sunday while I'm at IHOP. Well, God, I hate to be greedy, but this time, "I want a freaking baby!!!"

Is my kitty spoiled?

OK. So let me start out by saying that this is my husband's cat that he inherited from an old girlfriend. I am a step-catmommy. It took about five years for me to stop hating this cat. He is very old and spends most of his time sleeping, howling, throwing up, or pooping and peeing. He is also very expensive and has destroyed furniture and flooring. I hate to say it, but I have even called the vet to inquire about having him put to sleep. This was after he peed on the floor. NOTHING is worse than cat pee. (Won't I make a wonderful, patient mother?)

So I don't know if I just have this need to nurture something right now or what, but this cat has really grown on me. I hate to admit it, but I have even been known to hold this cat like a baby from time to time and pretend to give him a bottle. This has severely damaged my relationship with the cat. Also I think my husband thinks it is unhealthy and crazy. Whatever.

Well, a couple of months ago the cat was really sick and my husband put him in the bathroom sink for a cool drink. Now he is constantly crying to be lifted into the sink (he being the cat, not my husband). I tried to break the cat of this habit and figured if we didn't indulge him for a few weeks he would forget about it, (assuming kitty brains are very small and forgetful). But my husband is too much of a softy and he couldn't take the crying. So we went on vacation for a week. I thought surely the cat will forget about it while we are gone and problem solved. As soon as we walk in the door the first thing that cat does is run to the bathroom and cry!!! So I guess this is going to be his new habit...

Infertility Videos

Another way I waste time since I have no children...

Going Multimedia
Just Not Fair
A Week in the Life
Preparing for Number Two
Who Are You Now?
I Love Lupron
One of These Things is Not Like the Others
An Infertility Carol
A New Outlook

Retiring a Frenemy

The week that my husband and I decided to start trying to have a baby I bought a two-year monthly calendar that I could carry in my purse. In this planner I have tracked my cycles, planned a due date after our one positive pregnancy test, and entered countless doctors appointments. Today I have to retire this planner because it is obsolete. Here's the last page. Cancelled IVF cycle and four doctors appointments (six scheduled, but two cancelled when my cycle was cancelled). What a way to end the year...

Starting a new planner today. Fresh start.