Saturday, January 3, 2009

Are You There God? It's Me, Megan.

I was a little bit of a late bloomer when it came to getting my period. I think I was about 14 years old when it happened, the last one out of my group of friends. I can remember my heart sinking each time another one of my girlfriends made "the big announcement" that she was an official flowing woman. I was still left behind in girlhood. I was totally obsessed with the book, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" at that age. I probably read it more than a dozen times, looking for clues in the pages as to when it would happen to me, a "Da Vinci Code" to my girl parts.

Actually I was obsessed with anything having to do with periods or boobs. I remember sneaking into my mom's stash of maxi pads. I would wear them from time to time just to see what it would feel like to be "in the club". This led to a particularly embarrassing moment when my mother, who did not have a lot of boundaries when it came to her children's privacy, caught me in the bathroom wearing a maxi pad. She asked, "Is there a reason you need to wear that?" Of course I was mortified and sheepishly answered no. Up to this point our discussions about sex amounted to a car ride where she asked if I knew what a period was and I answered yes. When *it* finally did happen I didn't tell her for a month.

Of course it didn't take long for me to wonder why I had been so anxious to start my period in the first place. For the rest of my teenage years and into my twenties it was a monthly annoyance. Oh sure, there were a couple times in college when I was damn glad aunt flo came to visit, but otherwise I never gave it much thought. I've always been regular. I've had cramps, but nothing to write home about most months. It wasn't until a month before my thirtieth birthday, when we started trying to conceive that I started paying attention to it. Enter a new obsession...waiting for my period *not* to come. But aside from that one time that ended in miscarriage, it's been there...month after month on day 27 or 28, unless I'm on Clomid, then it's a little later.

Well, call it the circle of life, call it irony, call it one of God's little jokes, but I'm back to being a thirteen year old girl. I haven't had a period since mid-November. I know that having my period is step one toward getting back on that IVF pony. Plus I'm a little concerned about how much is being built up in there. I'm starting to feel a bit like a freezer that desperately needs defrosting. So God, this time, just so there's no confusion, "I want my freaking period!!!"
***UPDATE*** This praying stuff really does work. After I hit publish I went to the bathroom and there it on the toilet paper. I guess that's why all those people are at church on Sunday while I'm at IHOP. Well, God, I hate to be greedy, but this time, "I want a freaking baby!!!"


'Murgdan' said...

The tampon instruction picture made me laugh out loud...and your story brought me back to the day my mother gave me a box of maxi pads and told me to keep them around for when the time came. Differently from you I was the FIRST one in the club...which trust me isn't very fun either.

Hope your period comes soon so you can get things started. :-)

Mary said...

Whoo hoo for getting AF!

Anonymous said...

We are cycle my request is that we be pregnancy buddies...I wonder if God would answer that prayer for us???

I Believe in Miracles said...

This is funny. I know what you mean about wanting something to come but hating the wait and it coming. Good job starting the cycle!!

Kristin said...

I was one of the last in my group of friends, too... and I hated it! I totally remember the day AF finally came - my mom and I went to the store that night, and I wasn't sure how to tell her so I just grabbed a box of pads and put them in the cart, and when she looked at them and then at me, she started crying and gave me a huge hug. I was mortified!
Thanks for making me laugh this morning.
xo Kristin

Meez said...

I could have written this post! I had my period a little later as well, was obsessed with Judy Blume books, and got my period like clockwork - its still like clockwork despite my efforts...every single month...right on time.

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