My father passed away when I was twenty-one. We were close, or as close as you can get to an extreme workaholic with a really screwed up upbringing.
Several years after he passed on I had a dream about him. He was sitting on a park bench and I sat beside him. He told me that everything was going to be OK. I forget now why I needed to be told that everything was going to be OK, but I remember waking up and knowing that he was right.
The next morning there was a steel penny on my front table. (Pennies are generally made of copper, but during one of the World Wars they needed the copper for wartime production and made pennies out of steel.) I have no idea where this steel penny came from. I knew it was a sign from my father. He was a coin collector.
This weekend I had a conversation with my dad. I don't do this often, but I asked him if he had any sort of influence over things like conception could he please make sure that this cycle worked. (I talked to Tony's dad too, who I never met and who also has passed away).
This morning I woke up and went downstairs. On my kitchen counter next to my prometrium bottle there was a ladybug, a sign of good luck.
I hope my dad sent it. I hope it's his way of telling me that it will be OK.
I guess in a way it will be OK, no matter what.