Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Cocktails or Gym?

First let me say...WTF?

I think I might start investing my retirement money in some new sofas for the living room. At least they won't shrink to loveseats in a month.



Coktails or Gym? We did both! We went to the gym as soon as I got off work and I completed a grueling "workout" on the reclino bike. (One time I went to ride the reclino bike and someone had left their Snickers bar wrapper in the cup holder. I'm think that if you can eat a Snickers while exercising, it's not really a workout.) Then we went to the local Mexican restaurant where I ordered a 32 ounce tequilla shot, listed on the menu as a margarita. Our local Mexican restaurant has awful food, but the drinks are strong. The drinks are so strong that I forgot my purse at the restaurant once (maybe that's how they make money on the bar).

I have been such a productive 2X IVF loser today. I filled out my patient questionnaire for the new clinic, scanned it (without help thank you very much) and emailed it back to the clinic. I faxed forms to current RE and hubby's urologist to authorize medical records to be sent to new clinic. And I revised our personal financial budget AGAIN since the whole birth thing and related expenses will be moved back.

So how do I feel being a 2X loser? Friday when I found out cancellation was a possibility I was a hysterical, catatonic, bawling, cursing mess. Yesterday I was so happy that I had finally made the decision to leave my RE which I had previously been reluctant to do for various reasons. Today I am feeling closer to fine, but mildly depressed that yet again I am playing the waiting game and yet again there is no baby in sight.

14 comments:

Mrs. Olson said...

Hang in there! I'm so proud of you for sticking to your guns and starting fresh with a new RE! Getting rid of our old RE was the best decision we could have ever made, and our new one proved to us how horrible our old one was. I hope you find the same with your new doctor! Good luck :)

barrenisthenewblack said...

You are NOT a loser; you're a winner in waiting.
That might be the cheesiest thing I've ever written, but maybe laughing at me will help?

Good job being productive. Sometimes it helps to feel proactive.
Thinking of you.....

Elizabeth said...

Hi -- I've been lurking and just want to let you know how much I've enjoyed your writing. As a MF-related IVF alum (DH has cystic fibrosis), it can work and I very much hope it does for you. In the meantime, I'm so very sorry that you're waiting again and hoping that the new clinic has its act together and can get you cycling successfully ASAP! Best to you,
Elizabeth

Mary said...

I'm glad you are getting things in order with your new RE. The last guy is a jackass. When is your next appt then?

I'm glad that you worked out and drank a cocktail that you could have gone swimming in:)

c by the sea said...

i hope you enjoyed your margarita, and i hope it's the last one you'll get to have for a while. congrats on making the move to the new RE. and good luck!

Betty Rubble said...

I am THRILLED that you left your RE for a new one!

I my self think this was a very wise decision.

I also hear you on investing your $$ into couches...I think I may start hiding mine under the mattress, if I cut my 401K contributions to move liquid cash to savings I may as well not be investing anything at all. This is so frustrating! The market WILL pick up...but hurry up already (gee, that goes along w/your waiting huh). LOL.

musicmakermomma said...

Glad you are focused on this new path - hopefully that makes it easier to deal with the total f*ckup your previous RE made of the last two cycles! I am so mad for you. And all of us who have to deal with this crap. Looking forward to hearing about the new RE, office, staff and cycle!

awakeintheworld said...

Mmmmmm....32 oz shot of tequila....ahhhhhhhh.....

Jo said...

I think you will find that leaving him behind in the dirt is the best thing you have ever done.

Here's hoping time flies and you are soon on the road again!

Callie said...

I'm impressed - cocktails and the gym! Had I been in your shoes, the closest I would have gotten to the gym was walking by it on the way to the bar.

I am so happy that you're changing RE's. That guy sounds like such an ass and you deserve someone invested in your treatment.

I know the rollercoaster of emotion you describe all to well - riding it now. We just got our BFN on IVF #2 on Monday and the ups and downs remind me of one of those super bouncing balls. Just know that we're all here to prop you up when you're down and celebrate with you when things are on the upswing.

PS - loved the sofa to love seat line...made me giggle!

Tara said...

Hang in there. IF is a bitch, and she kicks you when you are down. Stay strong!

Shinejil said...

Good for you to seek help elsewhere. It sounds like you're not getting the treatment you need.

Gym and cocktails: the perfect combo.

Brenna said...

I'm here from LFCA. 1) I'm so sorry, and 2) I love your attitude (and tequila shots posing as margaritas!).

Leslie Laine said...

Congrats on your new RE. Sounds like a move in the right direction. It's nice to feel some type of control in this whole thing, isn't it?

Glad that you and your hubby did both - maybe you should do it again!

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