Monday, March 2, 2009

Cancelled

When will this nightmare end?

I was pretty sure after my ultrasound late this morning, but it was just confirmed by the blood tests. I’m actually surprisingly OK with it. I think I had myself prepared.

Now the RE has told me that these cysts are probably left over from my previous cycle. So I asked him why we didn’t do an ultrasound before starting this cycle to make sure that all the cysts were gone or why we didn’t do the additional monitoring I asked for so that we could have determined this was a problem earlier. (I was very non-confrontational about it and this was confirmed by my husband who likes to point out when I am confrontational.) So RE got rather huffy. First he told me that I could take him to court, but who knows if a jury would agree (what? I am just about the least litigious person I know). Then he told me that the only way I could avoid this next time would be to use donor eggs (what what? You have to be kidding me.)

So I have a phone consultation with another clinic next Monday. I feel so good. I feel like this is the right decision. I never felt right about this doctor, but I just pushed on hoping for the best. I’m a middle child. That’s what I do.

I was so mad when I left the RE’s office that I came back to work this afternoon. I didn’t want to waste a half a vacation day on that ass clown. Now hubby and I are debating about doing the gym or cocktails tonight...

39 comments:

Betty Rubble said...

WOW, what an ass! "You can take me to court!" Its almost as if he is admitting that he did something wrong!

I would not walk from this clinic but would RUN seriously. It is not as if you attacked him. You asked a very legitimate question, in a very non reactionary way!

Good luck on Monday I hope everythign works out for you! I just hope that you find the RE who will work for you rather than against you!

Lorza said...

I AM APPALLED! That was horrible on his part. Honestly! Go www.vitals.com and let the community know about him...is he a SART member? Let them know. RUN FAR AWAY as fast as you can from that clinic. Sounds like they just want your money and not really to get you pregnant.

Every patient has the right to plan their care- and to not be bullied. That this doctor even BROUGHT UP a lawsuit is beyond me. That is not a good doctor...or PERSON for that matter.

I am glad you have a good feeling about your new RE. GOOD LUCK!!!

Tara said...

What an ass. I am so sorry. I am so glad you have an appointment set up for Monday. I wasted a year on a clinic that just didn't feel right.

I vot for cocktails this evening...

Abbie said...

For your sake, please never go back to that clinic again! This sounds completely preventable to me. What an ass. It also sounds like other people have threatened a lawsuit against him before...

Leslie Laine said...

Donor eggs? What an ass!! This guy sounds like a total loser!

It's empowering to take things into your own hands and get another doctor who will listen to you and make sure he's/she's meeting your needs!

Do whatever makes you feel good tonight - maybe a little of both. There's nothing like a good beer after a great workout.

Take care of yourself - good for you for not wasting a vacation day! Keep us posted on your consultation.

Mo and Will said...

So glad you are getting out of there. sounds like a fraud who has no idea what he is doing.

I'm so very sorry you got cancelled again.

And that is just ridiculous that he said the only way to avoid this next time is to do donor egg.

Mo

callmemama said...

I'm so glad you're going to find another RE! Personally, I would go for cocktails...but that's just me. Hope you find the doc you're looking for, who can take proper care of you.

Heather and Jase said...

He fucked up, didn't even monitor, and wants to blame your eggs? You should have blacked his eye. I am so sorry you got canceled!
I vote for a stiff drink!

Cassandra said...

What a fraud! I am so sorry that it happened again, Megan. Glad you're cutting your losses and moving on.

Good luck with the next RE. Hope s/he is much more competent!

The Lonely Scrapbooker said...

What an a--hole. I can't believe he said that.
OK, so, if you can, try to see this as the misstep that leads you to the right place, a necessary step along the journey.
And do not even consider for a minute what he said about donor eggs. That is c--p and he's just trying to cover his incompetent ass.
You will get your baby! You will, you will, you will. I just know it. And then all of this will seem like a crazy (did that really happen?) memory.
Soon, soon.
I don't know if you're into self help or semi-new-agey stuff but there's this great little book, kind of based on Taoist philosophy, called Row, Row, Row Your Boat. It has helped me get through many setbacks, and if you're up for something like that, it just might help you too, now.

womb for improvement said...

Cocktails. No question.

What a fucker, I hope the new RE is more thorough and less stroppy.

Lori said...

It is most definitely a cocktail night.

I am so sorry about this outcome.

Toasting your perseverance and your future success (as in near future).

Erica said...

Have a drink or two or three.

Carrie said...

Ugh! I am so frustrated for you. I was canceled last month due to a monster cyst and have a feeling I may be heading that way again this week.

It is the worst feeling to not even get the CHANCE! I am thinking good thoughts for you- I think the winning combo might be hit the gym and then go get hammered. HUGS, Carrie

PJ said...

Holy crap! That's a little extreme of him, don'tcha thing?

You're right though. They always do baseline u/s with me to check for cysts. I can't believe he didn't. Maybe he knew he was in the wrong, and that's why he was so defensive?

Have a glass for me. :)

'Murgdan' said...

Well.you.can.take.me.to.court?!? WTF is that?!? I am SO glad you have a 2nd opinion scheduled. I am SO sorry you got cancelled too...but to get cancelled and have your RE be an ASS all on the same day? Shit.

Mary said...

Ummm...cocktails are in order.

WTF?!?! Is he insane? Take me to court?
This totally sucks ass, but I'm really glad that you are going to get a new RE. yay for that:)

Shannon said...

What a huge ass! I would protest in front of the clinic to all his patients know he has NO.IDEA what he is doing! (I wouldn't really, but that would be fun!)

I am glad you have a new RE scheduled. donor eggs at this point is a.load.of.crap! He was in the wrong ant that's why he jumped to talking about a lawsuit...maybe you should take his advice and sue him...

awakeintheworld said...

Good for you. You make me proud. He's not worth another thought. But definitely warn others about him, though. I know I would appreciate it.

Michelle said...

WTF? What an A$$! I am sorry and definitely find a new RE!

Misty said...

That RE sounds like a dick! Sorry that you had to deal with someone like that. I am glad that you have a phone consult set up. I don't think any place could be worse than the current place, holy crap.

Callie said...

First - I am so sorry it ended this way - especially since it sounds like it could have been avoided.

Second - cocktails, definitely cocktails - plural.

Third - I can't believe that was the RE's response! What an ass...and a strange thing to say to boot. I'm so glad you're getting another opinion. You deserve someone who will look out for your best interests rather than trying to minimize his own legal exposure.

I'm very interested to hear how the consult goes. Good luck!

Dora said...

OMFG! What an incredible ASS! May I suggest you post this on IVF message boards and name names!!! Women need to be warned!

So sorry you had to go through this. I hope you like the new RE. He/she can't be worse than Dr. Ass Clown!

Mrs.X said...

For as awful as it is to be cancelled, I think that you have dodged yourself a big ass bullet with this guy. Best of luck with the new RE!

Caroline said...

I'm sorry you have gone through all that. It's not fair.

Angelwingsbaby said...

sorry to hear about that jerk and that your cycle was canceled. -Megan

birdsandsquirrels said...

Cocktails. Definitely cocktails. I am horrified by your RE's response to your completely legitimate questions! I'm so sorry that your cycle was canceled. I am so glad you are going to another clinic, because he sounds stupid and dangerous.

kirke said...

What an idiot. And why the immediate leap to donor eggs? Again, what an idiot.

I'm glad that you are going somewhere else. No sense in wasting any more time with this jack*ss.

Bluebird said...

Oh girl, I soooo hope you chose cocktails. I'm so, so sorry. Drink one for me :)

princessoftides said...

OMG. Uncalled for, inappropriate and just downright shitty. Glad you're on your way out of there. Good riddance!

Sorry about the cancelled cycle - hope the cocktails (or the endorphins, if you went that route) took the edge off.

S said...

That really blows babe.

Hope that you have more luck with your next RE.

S X

Leigh said...

I canNOT believe he said that. I'm with everyone else - move!

He does not respect your opinion and is defensive so that doesn't equal a good doctor.

How on earth can he blame your eggs on that?!

twondra said...

Wow! I'm shocked at the doctor. Glad you're switching doctors.

Laura said...

I'm sorry that this cycle got cancelled. But Bravo to you for questioning the doc! And it sounds like you would be better off in another clinic. Best of luck with your phone consult!

Nicole said...

Sorry I'm late to the party but I'm so sorry it was the end for you this cycle. And good for you moving to a new RE. Best decision I think.

Hope you opted for the cocktails!

Tiffanie said...

wow. i'm sorry, that totally sucks. i may be in the same situation, but for different reasons.

as for your doctor, what a fucking db. i'm glad you are switching. good luck at the new RE.

Kristin said...

I am so so sorry. I can't believe he has the nerve to assume you're going to "take him to court"... it's as though he's admitting he could have done more but didn't. Like you said all along.

I say good thing to wiping your hands of him and this clinic and trying a new one. You need a doctor who is going to do all he can to get you pregnant...

Good luck with your meeting.
And again, I am so terribly sorry.

xo, kristin

Serendipity said...

aww crap, I'm really sorry to read this. Your RE sounds like a nightmare, coming out with a comment like that means he knows something is not right. How freaking insensitive - the stupid jerk is lucky that you can't sue people for being an ass. I hope your new clinic is much, much better.

Karen said...

Um, pardon me for being, er, dense, but what the *eff* do cysts and donor eggs have to do with one another??

What. An. Ass.

I'm so sorry your cycle was cancelled. I hope your phone consult goes really well and that you are able to move forward without reservations.

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