Sunday, November 8, 2009

You've Got To Be Kidding Me

Friday night Tony and I ended up at the local version of mega national chain restaurant. This is not my favorite place. In fact, I have never had a good meal at this restaurant, not even by accident. But two or three times a year we end up eating there on lazy Friday nights when we don’t feel like driving. Inevitably the meal does not end in dessert, but in proclamations like, “We are never eating here again,” and, “why did we pick this place? Ugh, It’s the worst.”

I was sitting outside, electronic buzzer in hand, wondering why I was waiting fifteen to twenty minutes to eat crappy food and up walk mama, daddy and adorable little daughter to sit on the bench across from us. Mama hands baby off to daddy and proceeds to light a cigarette.

“You’ve got to be f-ing kidding me,” I thought to myself. “Here I am paying thousands of dollars to have the slimmest chance of having a baby and this woman is smoking a cigarette right beside her baby!?!”

OK, I have to be honest I didn’t think it. I said it under my breath, “You’ve got to be f-ing kidding me.” It just came out.

Alright, you caught me. I didn’t say it under my breath. I said it out loud. I said it loud enough for them to hear. Tony elbowed me in the side, but I didn’t care. She glared at me and I glared right back. I was pretty sure that my husband could beat up her husband. And I was really sure that I could kick her ass. Besides, Tony and I got nothing better to do on a Friday night than get into a fight outside mega national chain restaurant and go to jail…being childless and all.

Luckily our buzzer rang before it became an infertile vs. irresponsible breeder hair pulling match. To be fair to mama she was holding the cigarette down by her feet and blowing the smoke away from the baby because, ya know…that makes it OK.

And the food was bad. And we’re never going back. For sure this time.

28 comments:

Mad Hatter said...

I would pay good money to see that fight. I'd pay even more to join in and help you! :-)

Heather said...

UGH! Some people really do suck. (not you, BTW, the smoker! LOL!)

I swear I smelled smoke on my back porch a few weeks ago and that means it could only come from one place--my 42 year-old overweight smoker neighbor-who-got-pregnant-the-first-month-of-trying. Yep, apparently she hasn't given up the habit completely, despite being due in a month!

I find myself making not-so-quiet comments like that as well. Bring it on!

jenicini said...

Let's get ready to rummmmmmmble! Bring it on smoker mom! I'm glad you said it loud enough for her to hear!

Jem said...

You could definitely kick her butt, what with her smoke-injured lungs. Loser!! Just remember to take your earrings off before the rumble begins.

PJ said...

Yea. People are assholes.

Amber said...

My favorite is when I'm next to a pregnant woman smoking or a mom screaming at her adorable kids.

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

Well, she could potentially burn you with the stub of her cancer stick, but that could only last so long before it burned out. Then it's all you + IF rage! Go get 'er!

JB said...

Let's tag team! Tap out when you want some reinforcement...

Just me said...

LOL. You rock.

mybumpyjourney said...

Yup. Makes you want to slap some people huh?

Logical Libby said...

It's even worse when it's your sister in law... Trust me.

KuKd Chick said...

Ya know what? Some things deserve to be said out loud. The smoking thing is one of those things. And I hate chain restaurants that give you buzzers, except for Red Lobster, but only for their garlic cheddar biscuits.

Angela said...

Oh don't get me started, I have friends with a 1 year old daughter with chronic asthma - she smoked right through her entire pregnancy and now she and her husband both smoke around their 2 children - and they wonder WHY?

thegalwho said...

"I was pretty sure that my husband could beat up her husband. And I was really sure that I could kick her ass. Besides, Tony and I got nothing better to do on a Friday night than get into a fight outside mega national chain restaurant and go to jail…being childless and all."

LMFAO I just LOVE all those words!!

The advantages of having a big hubby (BikerMan) means that I'm nearly always sure he can beat other guys up too!

Thanks for giving me a laugh this arvo, just what I needed!!

xxxx

Ellison Mitchell said...

I hope that your comments gave/will give her pause, somewhere in time. It does sadden me that I'm doing all that I can to be healthy in order to have a baby, but chainsmokers (and drug users, etc.) can get knocked up without problem...and then quite by accident, some of them!

Bluebird said...

I LOVE this story! Mostly because I've done the same thing as far as saying my thoughts out loud - but then always *realized* what I said out loud and backed down before the part about exchanging glares! And always, always DH ends up grumpy with me! Good for you, girl :)

irrationalexuberance said...

Seriously, the world is just too fucking unjust. I completely get your desire to riase a stink about a complete moron, and applaud your not-so-under-your-breath comment.

Incidentally, loving that you have Pat Benetar as your theme song.

babythornburgh said...

Good on you for saying it out loud! I always wuss out. There was a week a few months back, not long after my miscarriage where I saw 2 - count them - 2 PREGNANT women smoking. I wanted to walk up and say, "Listen, if you care so little for your child, stop smoking now and when it's born, I'll gladly take it off your hands!" It's SO FRUSTRATING that those who can get pregnant take it so for granted and those of us trying so hard get diddly.

musicmakermomma said...

THat is just sad. I can't believe people smoke for any reason though - I just don't get it. Sorry you had a crappy experience, next time I hope at least the food is good!

strongblonde said...

in this corner.... i would have liked to see it. i just attributed my similar behavior to age. lol.

xoxo

ps: the fact that i can squat 275 lbs helps a little bit, too...i always feel like i can beat someone up!!

Michelle said...

That makes me so angry. What is even worse is when I was working there were 4 people that smoked all through their pregnancies. UGH I wanted to kick there ass every day!

Sarah said...

I <3 you.

Frau said...

I don't condone rude comments out
loud... But heck, that slipped. We can either mourn over it or be glad over it. Might as well be glad. Whoohoo!

Yep, I had the joy of living next to two boneheads who smoked like Victorian-era factories while their daughter had severe asthma - as in once a week emergency room asthma. The doctor said that maybe at least one of them should quit. So I was treated to screaming fights over who it should be. After screaming insults and the rest of us in the building calling the cops at least twice a week, she announced that she was pregnant again!

Oh yeah, I'm sure I'm not getting pregnant because I'm lax on wheatgrass. Apparently she must have been "relaxed" when it happened.

Shinejil said...

I would totally have jumped into the fray on your side. Dumbass lame excuse for a mom.

the misfit said...

Do you think there's some sort of scientific correlation between bad restaurants and annoying parents? They should commission a study.

Allison said...

Hell hath no fury like a woman with Rage of the Unfairness.

This is my first stumble upon your blog, but I can say with certainty that Smoker Chick wouldn't have seen it comin'.

Mike and Alicia said...

I love you and we've only just met! Good for you saying it out loud! :)Alicia

Pregnant Yuppy said...

You go girl!

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin