I'm looking for some advice from past exeriences and/or empathy about the unfairness of it all...
When the doctor called for the official cancellation of our transfer he said that someone from his office would call this week to schedule a follow up appointment. Of course that never happened so I called today to schedule the appointment. So now I'm all set up with an appointment for JULY 20!!! That's over a month away!!!
We are pretty sure we want to try another IVF cycle (more on that later), and we were hoping to cycle in August. Obviously that can't happen with a July 20 follow up appointment.
Sooooooo...
Question #1 - Does it seem ridiculous to anyone but me that we have to wait almost two months for our WTF appointment? To me waiting that long for any answers as to what went wrong seems a little cruel.
Question #2 - How soon is too soon to cycle again after a failed IVF cycle? Is it unrealistic to try and cycle again in August? Should I be shooting for September anyway?
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28 comments:
That seems a little far away to me. My dr does not even take appts that far in advance. It makes it a lot easier to get in faster. I am not sure about the IVF thing.
I think 2 months is too long. I had to wait 3 weeks, and that seemed like too long! The only reason I got in in 3 weeks is because I scheduled the WTF appointment before IVF #1 even failed.
I don't think August is too soon. Many women do IVF back to back. My clinic made me wait 1 month which is standard, but August sounds like perfect timing for you. Good luck.
July 20 is WAY TOO LONG! My doctor said I only needed one regualr cycle after my first unsucessful IVF. But I ended up waiting two, in my case it was the right decision for me. But medically I think taking one cycle off is good enough. Good luck trying to schedule everything.
You have every fricking right to feel this is too far away. I would call the office back and say something like this:
"Hello. I have been considering the follow-up office visit date you have given me and I feel this appointment is too far away. I consider this both unprofessional and inconsiderate. Can you give me any mitigating circumstances that puts this appointment 6 weeks after my cancellation? I am concerned my RE may forget some of the details unless I am just getting my chart read back to me. I don't mean to cause trouble, but I am really upset and I feel I am owed better consideration than this."
If the appointment person gives you some type of brush off, then ask for their fax number and head doctor's name. Then write the same in a letter and fax it to them. GGRRRROOOWWWRRRRLLLLLLL!
That is way too long to wait! I didn't have an official WTF appointment though because when my RE called with my negative beta he said I should try again right away so there was really no time for an official consultation. My cycles were back to back with no suppression the 2nd time so I literally started stims a few days after my BFN. So I think you'd do fine with an August cycle.
Thanks IF Optimist!!! That's exactly the kind of indignation I feel!!!
I already emailed my IVF coordinator to see what she thinks. We'll see what she says...
I think two months is a ridiculously long time to wait! I would be horribly indignant, and would actually consider switching doctors if that happened to me. I mean, they take all of your money, do a cycle that fails, and then don't give you any feedback?!? Just awful. I think the maximum wait time should be 2 weeks, but I don't know if there's a standard. And even if they are just really backed up, you think they they should definitely clear some space for a current patient who's had a failed cycle.
I'd call again. I've found that emails are easily ignored. I agree with all that two months is an absurdly long time to wait for all that you've been through. If you don't mind, I am trying to get clinic info on issues just like this, so that prospective patients can see and learn from all our experiences. Thanks and good luck getting that appointment!
I think that's waaaayyyy too long - I could barely wait the week for my one after my failed IVF.
My clinic makes you wait one month out. So you have your period signalling the -ve result, do nothing and when your next period starts, that's when you can start again. And that's when we fell pregnant with my twins!
Whoa. Two months is insane. Two weeks is pretty damned near impossible. Have you checked to see if you might be able to get away with a phone consultation? Ugh.
As far as getting going again, I'm all about getting going asap as the best remedy for a failed-cycle-broken-heart.
I'm with the other posters - I think you're well within your rights to ask for an earlier appointment. Time is of the essence in this game.
Good luck, will be following to see what happens with this...
July for the WTF appointment is totally unacceptable, especially if you wanted to get back on board in August.
First, before I told them how unacceptable it was, I would ask whether there is some reason other than scheduling that you can't get an appointment sooner. Do they need lab results that won't be ready by then?
If they still give you a bullshit answer, I would tell them that they aren't going to get money for a second cycle until they get you in there and it is in their best interest to get you in sooner rather than later.
As far as how soon is too soon to cycle again, I was told to wait a month to let the body readjust - I also needed that month to feel like a normal person again. I would ask what their protocol is in terms of physical issues and then make my decision from there also taking into account how I felt.
Best of luck!!!
thats too long. I know they are busy and all that but its an important meeting. Let them know you want to cycle again asap so the meeting has to be now.
Two months seems absolutely ridiculous. I agree with the previous commenters who suggested things to call up and say. You deserve some answers, and you deserve them soon, AND you definitely should be able to cycle in August if you want. I hope you get somewhere with the coordinator.
Now I'm all pissed off for you!
Two months wait is just horse shit. Especially after the cycle you had. Grrrrrrrrrr!
I'm so sorry they are giving you the run around. I haven't been through IVF, but I think its lame that they are making you wait so long. I know I would want answers asap!
Since I can't give any advice from experience I agree whole heartedly with "IF Optimist's" recommendation.
I hope you get the answers you deserve very soon.
Yep - agree with the voices here. We also were never called and had to call to schedule, but both our WTF appt's occurred within 2-3 weeks of the failed cycle. I think your anger is well-placed. Fight for it!
Waiting another month is absolutely ridiculous! I was annoyed with my own three week delay for a WTF explanation, but at least my RE had the decency to send me a letter outlining our options going forward, so if I hadn't gotten in to see her when I did, I would have had some idea of what was next. Of course, she couldn't really explain what had gone wrong, but I felt better anyhow for having been seen.
As for the next cycle- I was made to wait nearly two months, which means that my next anticipated ER/ET will be exactly three months after the last one. It was two weeks to find out I wasn't pregnant, then nothing for a cycle, then nothing until CD22 of the next cycle when lupron starts (that's tomorrow- I'm not looking forward to it). Tack on one more AF before stims and it all adds up to three months from ET to ET. The rationale I was given was that I really only spent one complete cycle, from CD1 to AF, unmedicated.
Any delay feels too long.
That's crazy, way too long to wait! I think our WTF appointment was like a week or two later.
I cycled in late September, early October and then again in late November/early December. Plus, I don't do birth control, so it was all timed on my natural cycles. I think August is reasonable.
Sounds like maybe you're at a bigger center than me though.
You want me to make a bomb threat or somethin'? That seemed to work once when my center wasn't being cooperative. j/k!
Hi Megan,
I also think that waiting until July for your WTF appointment is very cruel. DH and I had the same experience after our first IVF (which was part of the reason we changed Doctors). It is good that you are being assertive and acting as your own advocate.
As for doing another cycle, I was told it is OK to do one following one month off. So an August cycle would be fine.
Let us know how you get on.
I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiments here. That is crazy to make you wait that long. Not that it's the kind of special treatment I want, but my clinic gives priority to WTF meetings. Of course, you have to phone and say the devastating words "I'm calling to make an appointment for a failed IVF consult," but it does seem to open up the magic appointment book.
In terms of how long to wait, I think that's a personal decision. I did a December cycle followed by a February cycle and for me it was just too soon. I took a few months off and we're now in the midst of a June cycle, and I feel like having the break really helped my body (and spirit) be ready for this go-around. If this one doesn't work, I'll probably wait until September or October to cycle again, and I say that as someone over the dreaded 38, so it's not like time is on my side. Even so, it just feels better to me than back to back cycles.
Everyone is different though, and for some people the wait might be more stressful rather than rejuvenating. I hope you're able to get into the doctor much sooner, and I wish you the best with your decision.
-Callie
Two months? I waited a month and that's because I needed time away.
My RE would have made me have an off month to cycle again but I know other clinics don't require that - especially those who don't have a scary response.
You might be able to cycle in August if they cut down the suppression phase.
My RE gave me an appointment 2 weeks after my cancelled retrieval so that we could come up with a plan for the next cycle. I had a couple cysts left over which he monitored for 17 days before giving me the go-ahead for back-to-back antagonist cycles. My body was still stuck around day3 at that point, so he thought it was ok to start. He didn't want to suppress me with birth control as he thought that might have been part of my poor response last time.
Now I'm just worried we're going to have poor quality and few eggs retrieved tomorrow - hope it'll all work out!
Good luck getting your WTF moved up - waiting 4-6 weeks is ridiculous.
I think that seems far off. Also, I think August is a reasonable time to cycle again. Are you going to call back and see if they can see you sooner? I would...
July is a long time to wait for the WTF.
My RE didn't want me to re-cycle immediately (start suppression in the cycle immediately following the BFN) but was fine with waiting just one month (which in your case would allow July suppression and August stims).
Good luck getting an earlier appointment!
If I was you I would be insisting on an appointment. I would actually have a tantrum to get one:) - even tears if it helped to get someone's attention!! But that's me.
Re IVF - I had a failed cycle in Feb 08 followed by a successful one in Apr 08.
Good luck.
IF Optimist has it all laid out! I couldn't say it any better.
You have all my empathy about the ridiculously long wait. I've never heard of a well-paid specialist having appt delays that long. Esp. if you'd like to cycle again in August (which if you feel up for, I say go for it).
Let us know if you get satisfaction.
#1 Can you contact the dr directly? this has happeend to us before where the scheduler said our RE was booked for way too long. RE had us come in two days later once we asked him directly and said didn't want to wait.
#2 in our clinic, they want you to have one cycle off in between. so once you get your period, you can begin lupron later that month...or if it's a no lupron cycle, the second period would be when you start stims...
thinking of you guys.
Mo
I think that seems to way too far away to go over everything from the last cycle. You need to get in there sooner!
We did our first IVF attempt in September, which resulted in a BFN, and then scheduled our next attempt for the transfer on December 4th, but because of a mix-up of meds that cycle was cancelled. We finally got around to our second IVF transfer on January 19th.
Obviously, I'm no expert, but I think you could certainly try for an August cycle... that's three months past this one, and should give plenty of time to prepare.
Two months does seem really far, but there might be a slow down b/c it is summer months and they have vacations etc. to work around. Sucks, but unfortunately that is they way of life.
There are girls blogs I follow had a BFP on an IVF cycle that was back to back with failed cycle. They just started the meds after AF showed up.
Good luck!
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