Thank you for all of your comments. We had a wonderful weekend. Getting away from the house and work was a great distraction. But now it’s back to life, back to reality. Today has been a much harder day than the ones before.
When Tony and I decided to do IVF I started lurking on various message boards. I remember lurking on a forum for IVF “vets” and reading a post that caught my attention. A woman posted that she was no longer joining IVF cycle support groups because she was sick of seeing others have first time success with IVF while she continued to be left behind.
At the time I felt guilty reading this woman’s post. I felt guilty because I was fairly certain that I had a good shot at being one of those first time IVF success cases. I also felt pity. I felt sorry that this woman could not find her success, but I could not identify with her pain.
Now things are different. If I read that post now I would find myself nodding along. If I read that post now I would not feel pity, but rather empathy. I get it now. I understand how it feels to transition from infertility that is treatable to infertility that may be terminal. It’s a different world and I’m trying to adjust.