OK. So I'm surfing around on You Tube and I found this video. I've added my own comments...
Please feel free to offer your own snotty comments!
Friday, January 30, 2009
I've Found The Answer Ladies!!!
...and it's all your fault.
OK. So I'm surfing around on You Tube and I found this video. I've added my own comments...
OK. So I'm surfing around on You Tube and I found this video. I've added my own comments...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Good Times at the Pharmacy
I picked up my prescriptions yesterday. I only needed to get more Follistim and Doxycycline. I have everything else left over from my cancelled cycle. Getting my prescriptions filled is always an adventure. I work in the accounting department for a very large retailer (actually a subsidiary of a very large retailer, but who cares.) One of the oddities of my health insurance plan is that only pharmacies owned by my parent company (which is not evil Walmart in case you were wondering) are considered “in-network”. So guess where I get my fertility drugs…that's right, the grocery store. This is how Frank entered my life. Yep, I’m on a first name basis with my pharmacist. Frank is an older guy from the East coast. It seems that he is not very happy living in the Midwest where we have an annoying habit of being nice to people all the time. (I can’t really hold this against Frank. I’m not too down with being nice to people all the time either, but at least I have a lot of Midwestern guilt about my attitude.)
So when I was getting prescriptions filled for the first IVF I went to the pharmacy/grocery store with a long list of drugs. I handed it over to the sweet, young pharmacy tech who knew right away that she was over her head. She had to call up Frank from the back. He was not amused.
Frank: I don’t have most of this stuff.
Me: Well, I don’t need it right away, can you get it?
Frank: It will take a couple days.
Me: That’s OK, I don’t need it for a few weeks.
[Frank looks at Megan with a very annoyed look. He wonders why Megan is bothering him if she doesn’t need this stuff for a few weeks.]
Frank: This is going to be very expensive. Are you sure you want it?
[Megan ponders this question. Maybe this is all nuts. Maybe all this testing and timed sex and wanting a baby is crazy. Maybe Frank is right. Maybe I don't need a baby to feel as though my life is complete. Maybe this is a sign…..or maybe not, maybe Frank just doesn't want to order my medicine.]
Megan: Yes, I want it.
So I left, thinking I had about a 70% chance of getting my prescriptions filled correctly. Frank and I spoke on the phone later that night. We spoke on the phone again the next day. We spoke on the phone again a few weeks later when he figured out that he billed me wrong after taking an inventory. Somewhere along the way I shared with Frank that we work for the same parent company and that I really didn’t want to bother him with all these annoying sales, and all this pesky business for his pharmacy, but I didn’t have a choice as his pharmacy is the only one “in-network”. I don’t think Frank cared.
When I went last night to pick up my prescriptions Frank had the night off. Things went pretty smoothly with two exceptions:
1. The insurance won’t pay to renew my BCP until Feb 4th, which is a pain because now I have to make another trip to the pharmacy/grocery store.
2. When the pharmacy tech rang up my prescriptions I heard her say, “woah”. I’m not sure if that was a reaction to the price of the meds, the amount of my copay, or the fact that she just realized that a real life barren woman was at her counter.
Another hurdle cleared on the way to baby bliss…
So when I was getting prescriptions filled for the first IVF I went to the pharmacy/grocery store with a long list of drugs. I handed it over to the sweet, young pharmacy tech who knew right away that she was over her head. She had to call up Frank from the back. He was not amused.
Frank: I don’t have most of this stuff.
Me: Well, I don’t need it right away, can you get it?
Frank: It will take a couple days.
Me: That’s OK, I don’t need it for a few weeks.
[Frank looks at Megan with a very annoyed look. He wonders why Megan is bothering him if she doesn’t need this stuff for a few weeks.]
Frank: This is going to be very expensive. Are you sure you want it?
[Megan ponders this question. Maybe this is all nuts. Maybe all this testing and timed sex and wanting a baby is crazy. Maybe Frank is right. Maybe I don't need a baby to feel as though my life is complete. Maybe this is a sign…..or maybe not, maybe Frank just doesn't want to order my medicine.]
Megan: Yes, I want it.
So I left, thinking I had about a 70% chance of getting my prescriptions filled correctly. Frank and I spoke on the phone later that night. We spoke on the phone again the next day. We spoke on the phone again a few weeks later when he figured out that he billed me wrong after taking an inventory. Somewhere along the way I shared with Frank that we work for the same parent company and that I really didn’t want to bother him with all these annoying sales, and all this pesky business for his pharmacy, but I didn’t have a choice as his pharmacy is the only one “in-network”. I don’t think Frank cared.
When I went last night to pick up my prescriptions Frank had the night off. Things went pretty smoothly with two exceptions:
1. The insurance won’t pay to renew my BCP until Feb 4th, which is a pain because now I have to make another trip to the pharmacy/grocery store.
2. When the pharmacy tech rang up my prescriptions I heard her say, “woah”. I’m not sure if that was a reaction to the price of the meds, the amount of my copay, or the fact that she just realized that a real life barren woman was at her counter.
Another hurdle cleared on the way to baby bliss…
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Step Away from the Credit Card
When I had my miscarriage I bought a new car. Not a few weeks later, not a few months later. Monday was the ultrasound. Friday was the D&C. I bought a new car on the Wednesday in between. I never took psychology in college, but it's pretty easy to figure out why I did this. I wanted something to be excited about, something to talk about, something to distract me from the loss. This seems extreme, but we had been talking about getting a new car anyway. We had the "free and clear" Cavalier that I bought when I graduated from college which was only a two door car. We needed something else if we were going to have a baby. Something with four doors. I just bought it a little ahead of schedule. I never thought I'd have the car for over a year and still not have a baby.
Since the cancelled IVF cycle I haven't bought anything as extreme, but I can't stop shopping. This is very out of character for me. I generally shop for quality, not quantity, so I don't shop very often. I am so ashamed and guilty. I need to stop. I need to start saving money for future IVF cycles.
When it comes to the financial part of infertility my husband and I are lucky. First of all, we have insurance. However, the insurance has a $15k lifetime max and we will probably hit that with this next cycle. After that we can pay for some cycles out of savings, but that could leave us with no "baby" money (if needed) and no "safety net" money.
Safety net money is very important to me. I grew up working class in rural Iowa. As a child I always felt like our family was one step away from financial ruin. I remember one time my mother got into a car accident with me in the car. It was little more than a fender bender, but I remember being so panicked. I didn't know how my parents could possibly afford to pay for the repairs. I didn't understand car insurance at the time. I never wanted a child of mine to feel that way. Now I'm not sure I'll have a choice. I'm scared that if I want a child, I may have to give up financial security. It seems so unfair.
I hit my shopping bottom this past weekend. Friday night my husband and I went out for cocktails after work. I had a few too many and I was feeling great. On the way home I told my husband to stop at the Hobby Lobby on the way to our house. This is what I call bottom. I was drunk in a Hobby Lobby on a Friday night buying a bunch of craft shit that I so don't need. No intervention necessary. I need help.
It was fun while it lasted, but I'm putting an end to this shopping craze. Here's some of the stuff I picked up along the way...
Since the cancelled IVF cycle I haven't bought anything as extreme, but I can't stop shopping. This is very out of character for me. I generally shop for quality, not quantity, so I don't shop very often. I am so ashamed and guilty. I need to stop. I need to start saving money for future IVF cycles.
When it comes to the financial part of infertility my husband and I are lucky. First of all, we have insurance. However, the insurance has a $15k lifetime max and we will probably hit that with this next cycle. After that we can pay for some cycles out of savings, but that could leave us with no "baby" money (if needed) and no "safety net" money.
Safety net money is very important to me. I grew up working class in rural Iowa. As a child I always felt like our family was one step away from financial ruin. I remember one time my mother got into a car accident with me in the car. It was little more than a fender bender, but I remember being so panicked. I didn't know how my parents could possibly afford to pay for the repairs. I didn't understand car insurance at the time. I never wanted a child of mine to feel that way. Now I'm not sure I'll have a choice. I'm scared that if I want a child, I may have to give up financial security. It seems so unfair.
I hit my shopping bottom this past weekend. Friday night my husband and I went out for cocktails after work. I had a few too many and I was feeling great. On the way home I told my husband to stop at the Hobby Lobby on the way to our house. This is what I call bottom. I was drunk in a Hobby Lobby on a Friday night buying a bunch of craft shit that I so don't need. No intervention necessary. I need help.
It was fun while it lasted, but I'm putting an end to this shopping craze. Here's some of the stuff I picked up along the way...
I bought these boxes to organize some of my craft crap. I love organization. This picture is like porn to me.
I bought this old camera at an antique store. I have no use for it and no where to put it. I just liked it. I'm not going to tell what I paid for it.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Three Things
Three things for today…
Thing #1 = I got my official protocol today. In the first five days of stims I will be taking 375 less units of Follistim cumulatively than last time. Hopefully this is the right cocktail that will not cause over stimulation, but will cause lots of nice follicles to grow.
Thing #2 = Insurance. For the last month I have burying my head in the sand trying not to think about how much of my $15k lifetime infertility max has been used. Today I pulled my head out (of sand, not ass) and called the insurance company. They say that I have used $1500 of the $15,000 max. The insurance company website clearly shows that they have spent closer to $4000 on my fertility related treatments if I add them all up myself.
The website does NOT show how much of my max has been used or what treatments count toward max causing many phone calls to the insurance company which result in my screaming “assistance” repeatedly at the automated system so that I can talk to a real person. (Does anyone else hate these new systems where you “tell” it what you want rather than just pushing buttons?) So this causes me to assume a few things (because I wasn’t going to argue with the lady on the phone and tell her that she was $2500 short). Either they haven’t updated the total applied toward the max for treatments I had in December OR not all of my treatments have counted against my infertility max. I guess I will have to wait and see.
Additionally, I had some testing done at an out-of-network lab (arrgghh) in November and the insurance website shows that my portion of the bill will be $1000. I’ve known about this for awhile, but I have not received the bill yet. Again, not something I am going to ask about.
Thing #3 = I feel so off today. I feel very tired and out of it and irritable. The only thing I am on is BCP and I’ve already been on those for a week. I ate breakfast. I had some lunch. I slept well last night. I can’t figure out what’s wrong. I hope I’m not getting sick.
Thing #1 = I got my official protocol today. In the first five days of stims I will be taking 375 less units of Follistim cumulatively than last time. Hopefully this is the right cocktail that will not cause over stimulation, but will cause lots of nice follicles to grow.
Thing #2 = Insurance. For the last month I have burying my head in the sand trying not to think about how much of my $15k lifetime infertility max has been used. Today I pulled my head out (of sand, not ass) and called the insurance company. They say that I have used $1500 of the $15,000 max. The insurance company website clearly shows that they have spent closer to $4000 on my fertility related treatments if I add them all up myself.
The website does NOT show how much of my max has been used or what treatments count toward max causing many phone calls to the insurance company which result in my screaming “assistance” repeatedly at the automated system so that I can talk to a real person. (Does anyone else hate these new systems where you “tell” it what you want rather than just pushing buttons?) So this causes me to assume a few things (because I wasn’t going to argue with the lady on the phone and tell her that she was $2500 short). Either they haven’t updated the total applied toward the max for treatments I had in December OR not all of my treatments have counted against my infertility max. I guess I will have to wait and see.
Additionally, I had some testing done at an out-of-network lab (arrgghh) in November and the insurance website shows that my portion of the bill will be $1000. I’ve known about this for awhile, but I have not received the bill yet. Again, not something I am going to ask about.
Thing #3 = I feel so off today. I feel very tired and out of it and irritable. The only thing I am on is BCP and I’ve already been on those for a week. I ate breakfast. I had some lunch. I slept well last night. I can’t figure out what’s wrong. I hope I’m not getting sick.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Just Not Fair - Show and Tell
Everyone getting pregnant but you? Upset about the money you have to lay out just to have a chance of getting pregnant? Sick of shots? Sick of doctors? Put together a cheese plate and join me in a whine... [Disclaimer: Somewhat racy.]
See what others are showing and telling...
Friday, January 23, 2009
Did I Just Get Dissed by my RE?
OK. So everyone has a clever name for their RE. My RE will now be known as Dr. Jackass (Dr. J. for short). So here was our conversation yesterday on the phone...
Dr. J: Are you superstitious?
Me: No, not really.
Dr. J: Well, I am working on your protocol and it looks like your egg retrieval might be on Friday the 13th in March. Are you OK with that?
Me: Doesn't bother me.
Dr J: Do you know how Friday the 13th got started?
Me: Yeah, wasn't that the day that they killed all the Knights Templar?
Dr J: You're right. Did I tell you that?
Me: No Dr. J, I'm really smart.
Dr J: I guess you're right. You must have read that in the Da Vinci Code.
Holy arrogance Batman!!! I guess I couldn't possibly know anything unless my doctor told it to me. I wish this guy would cut the chit chat and make me a freakin baby already!!! (I'd really like to tell him this sometimes, but I'm always afraid that my smart ass attitude might cause some "accidents" during the ICSI process.) I really don't hate my RE. I just find him a little odd. But I'm an accountant, I'm VERY used to being around odd people.
Dr. J: Are you superstitious?
Me: No, not really.
Dr. J: Well, I am working on your protocol and it looks like your egg retrieval might be on Friday the 13th in March. Are you OK with that?
Me: Doesn't bother me.
Dr J: Do you know how Friday the 13th got started?
Me: Yeah, wasn't that the day that they killed all the Knights Templar?
Dr J: You're right. Did I tell you that?
Me: No Dr. J, I'm really smart.
Dr J: I guess you're right. You must have read that in the Da Vinci Code.
Holy arrogance Batman!!! I guess I couldn't possibly know anything unless my doctor told it to me. I wish this guy would cut the chit chat and make me a freakin baby already!!! (I'd really like to tell him this sometimes, but I'm always afraid that my smart ass attitude might cause some "accidents" during the ICSI process.) I really don't hate my RE. I just find him a little odd. But I'm an accountant, I'm VERY used to being around odd people.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Fertiles Are Going Crazy
OK...if this is what baby showers are coming to, I might be glad I'm not fertile...
This is from my new favorite site for a laugh. I don't know why I find these cakes so hilarious. Maybe it's because I like to bake and decorate cakes and I've had many a disaster myself? All I know is this one made me pee my pants (Unfortunately, I'm not joking.)
Soooooooo...I called the RE today. All because of this helpful comment from Chelle, "I completely understand. Completely. In my experience, even though I don't feel quite ready for the next step, I take it. More times than not, I am ready by the time it gets here."
This totally flipped my attitude. I'm back on the pill today. Shooting for an egg retrieval in the second week of March. I'm so glad I called. March seems so far away. And I can take the pill this cycle and change my mind if I'm not ready when lupron time comes. It seems like a win-win situation. Thanks so much for the comments. I love getting this support. I can't believe that the Internet is good for something besides porn!!!
This is from my new favorite site for a laugh. I don't know why I find these cakes so hilarious. Maybe it's because I like to bake and decorate cakes and I've had many a disaster myself? All I know is this one made me pee my pants (Unfortunately, I'm not joking.)
Soooooooo...I called the RE today. All because of this helpful comment from Chelle, "I completely understand. Completely. In my experience, even though I don't feel quite ready for the next step, I take it. More times than not, I am ready by the time it gets here."
This totally flipped my attitude. I'm back on the pill today. Shooting for an egg retrieval in the second week of March. I'm so glad I called. March seems so far away. And I can take the pill this cycle and change my mind if I'm not ready when lupron time comes. It seems like a win-win situation. Thanks so much for the comments. I love getting this support. I can't believe that the Internet is good for something besides porn!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
