Sunday, April 18, 2010

Two Infertiles Dancing

Walking toward each other in the office hallway I see you and you see me.

You know that I am infertile and I know that you are too.

You know that I don't have a baby and I know that you do.



You don't know if I am still trying...
You don't know if I might be pregnant right now...
You don't know if I'm waiting to find out if I'm pregnant right now...
You don't know the lengths I've gone to in order to catch up with you...



You know that you shouldn't talk about your baby, but you wish I would ask.

I know that I should ask, but I wish you wouldn't talk about your baby.



I've avoided your department because of you.
I've avoided the cafeteria because of you.



And so we dance down the hall, each step bringing us closer to an uncomfortable conversation.

Until I shout out a, "Hi!" and duck around the corner, never so happy to rush into a training class.

13 comments:

Mo said...

Beautiful post. So sad and so true. Sometimes it seems these moments just never let up. Thanks for capturing it so perfectly. Thinking of you.

Mo

Silver said...

Oh yes - been there, done that! Much sympathy.

Once Upon A Time said...

Totally reminds me of my co-worker and I at this time last year. Had to read it outloud to my husband, too. It sucks.

Amber said...

What a true scenario! So sorry you are still going through this.

Michelle said...

I love this! It is so true!

lastchanceivf said...

It is very true. It's also the dance of the fertiles and the infertiles. Thanks for posting.

HUGS.

Anonymous said...

Megan thank you for writing this and publishing this. It rings so true for so many of us...

irrationalexuberance said...

Yep. This is very very familiar.
Thanks for putting down on "paper" what many of us experience.

AmyG said...

Yeah, that's it.

Meg. said...

This is beautiful, Megan. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes - you've caprtured it perfectly!

Lisa said...

so perfectly written. and so heartbreaking... i'm really sorry that infertility has done this to you.

Unknown said...

Your blog is the first i read on this site and this poem was so real and so honest it struck something deep within me and made me start thinking about stuff i have been lying to myself about for a while. well not really lying but avoiding i guess...for a long time. You write so beautifully and truthfully -in just 3days i've nearly read all your posts. i am so sorry about what you have been through. i know you're on a break and not trying for now but i wish you the best and thought to let you know you've inspired me to work towards getting my feelings down and confronting this situation. it seems so therapeutic...and its time for me to start dealing with my infertility. thank you Megan.

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