tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post4839084631674966881..comments2023-11-03T06:53:28.451-05:00Comments on Bottoms Off And On The Table: Benchmark BabyMeganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15844319222032025685noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-64982296588793611702009-04-23T20:02:00.000-05:002009-04-23T20:02:00.000-05:00Also first time visiting your blog, also think 'be...Also first time visiting your blog, also think 'benchmark baby' is a turn of phrase worth trademarking! <br /><br />I have a few of them, because I've lost 6 pregnancies so far, but my first and main benchmark baby is my niece, an 'oops' child, who was announced at 6 weeks gestation, at my wedding party, just 4 weeks after my ectopic pregnancy (which had taken us 18 months to produce) was surgically removed. Double ouch.<br /><br />It has taken me a very long time to bond with her (through no fault of her own, poor, beautiful creature)- she's 3.5 and I just played with her for the first time this Easter.<br /><br />I hope you don't mind if I link to this post, I think this terminology should become widespread through our community. :-)Panamahathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10248512242594265755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-44073696378363554072009-04-21T17:32:00.000-05:002009-04-21T17:32:00.000-05:00Hi there -
I'm a first-time commenter... just hap...Hi there - <br />I'm a first-time commenter... just happened across your blog, and had to comment on the "benchmark baby." What a perfect phrase to just sum it all up. Mine is my cousin's baby, born this past Feb. And the best part? She (intentionally) took the name that I would have named my baby. Bitch. <br />Nice to "meet" you! <br />SarahAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-23373730106412044572009-04-20T18:59:00.000-05:002009-04-20T18:59:00.000-05:00This one was sad. I'm sorry it has to be this way....This one was sad. I'm sorry it has to be this way. I hope you get your own baby to celebrate his/her birthday soon. <br />I've never heard it put quite this way, but you certainly have hit a chord.Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428077947193750366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-1385324682114115402009-04-20T11:11:00.000-05:002009-04-20T11:11:00.000-05:00My brother and sister-in-law started trying for th...My brother and sister-in-law started trying for their second around the same time we started for our first, and now she's 6 months old. At least 5 other friends have conceived and given birth in that time, too, and several more are newly pregnant. I know how you feel - and I'm sorry things are the way they are.sunflowerchildehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15209334933886664383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-65007183947831840672009-04-20T10:19:00.000-05:002009-04-20T10:19:00.000-05:00Beautiful and bittersweet. And something I hadn't...Beautiful and bittersweet. And something I hadn't thought of - but I know exactly what you mean. Thank you for sharing. And happy birthday to your benchmark baby. And all the hugs in the world to you.Bluebirdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05026618678540051581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-75608521000738346552009-04-20T09:44:00.000-05:002009-04-20T09:44:00.000-05:00I never thought to call it this... but I do know w...I never thought to call it this... but I do know what you mean. I'm sorry you're so sad.Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07387012440873862462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-29732603715953971432009-04-20T06:21:00.000-05:002009-04-20T06:21:00.000-05:00I felt so sad for you when reading your post. Othe...I felt so sad for you when reading your post. Other people's children are a reminder of where our lives would be if things had been different. <br /><br />I don't have a benchmark baby, but one of my friends started fertility treatment at the same time as me. She now as a baby, and I find it hard to relate to her because my journey has been so different. <br />Hang in there,<br />hugs<br />Caroline xxCarolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17419258143246843192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-81228783636699828352009-04-19T21:28:00.000-05:002009-04-19T21:28:00.000-05:00Found your blog through a link. Love the term ben...Found your blog through a link. Love the term benchmark baby- just don't love that we have to have one. Mine is my godson, he's 2 years and 4 months old. Thank you for naming and validating what I've felt since I learned about the pregnancy.Once Upon A Timehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08865931408744885743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-65237472191144934362009-04-19T20:34:00.000-05:002009-04-19T20:34:00.000-05:00Ah, yes. Mine is Jonathan E., a friend's baby bor...Ah, yes. Mine is Jonathan E., a friend's baby born one month after my first loss would have been due. He'll turn 2 in August. And like you said, I thought I'd have baby number 2 by now. Instead, I'm trudging through the childlessness, blinded by jealousy and tears.<br /><br />Well said.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01800091686064254338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-21134289033175858872009-04-19T19:30:00.000-05:002009-04-19T19:30:00.000-05:00I too have a benchmark baby. If you can believe it...I too have a benchmark baby. If you can believe it my friend and I had the same exact due date. Her naturally, me through IVF. It's tough to think about what could have been.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-16230091502339409752009-04-19T17:26:00.000-05:002009-04-19T17:26:00.000-05:00I sooo understand what you mean. It is very hard t...I sooo understand what you mean. It is very hard to see my benchmark babies they are all 1400 miles away from me and are my sister's 2 wonderful children. It is hard not being closer to family. We just live so far away from them.<br /><br />Awesome post!!Tigerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07998507834757510238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-33213168729455108542009-04-19T16:26:00.000-05:002009-04-19T16:26:00.000-05:00Aw I so feel ya! My BFF's baby is turning one in 3...Aw I so feel ya! My BFF's baby is turning one in 3 weeks and we started trying about a month after her and now there working on 2 and ....oh I wanna cry thinking about itJust Believinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02209860792709070040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-67912430502723749882009-04-19T16:09:00.000-05:002009-04-19T16:09:00.000-05:00My First benchmark baby is the child of a family f...My First benchmark baby is the child of a family friend. It's hard to be upset with her. She lost her first husband in her early twenties to cancer. Married my brother's best friend. She is in her mid thirties and deserves all the happiness in the world. <br /><br />Except when I look at her little girl, I see what might have been for me. Our babies were due in the same month. <br /><br />My second benchmark is my nephew. He was born the day before I miscarried. Never going to forget his birthday. <br /><br />Nice term...benchmark. We all have those. It's nice to have a name for it.UnicornMommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08730577833084586987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-67585986998719241952009-04-19T14:43:00.000-05:002009-04-19T14:43:00.000-05:00Mine is 8 mos old. Her parents invited us over fo...Mine is 8 mos old. Her parents invited us over for dinner next week. Yay. I can't wait. Ugh.Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16047343481664435288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-81764238367801791302009-04-19T13:08:00.000-05:002009-04-19T13:08:00.000-05:00I'm listening... and nodding.I'm listening... and nodding.Paula Kellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11545620300368378897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-25427496285864546692009-04-19T12:53:00.000-05:002009-04-19T12:53:00.000-05:00I have one of those and man, it's tough. Thanks fo...I have one of those and man, it's tough. Thanks for posting this. (((HUGS)))twondrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833003369303408718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-91513091622731807492009-04-19T12:47:00.000-05:002009-04-19T12:47:00.000-05:00Ohhh, how I understand this. I actually have sever...Ohhh, how I understand this. I actually have several, all conceived around the same time by friends in my single mothers group. They are all walking, starting to talk and a couple are moving on to potty training. One mom is T42. Amazing, isn't it?princessoftideshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18359303260898514314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-7924694913738616692009-04-19T11:46:00.000-05:002009-04-19T11:46:00.000-05:00I don't have a benchmark baby, but one who is 4 we...I don't have a benchmark baby, but one who is 4 weeks older than Bam-Bam would have been. Sigh. I don't like our benchmark babies...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-9429098225068314592009-04-19T10:20:00.000-05:002009-04-19T10:20:00.000-05:00My benchmark baby was conceived on our honeymoon -...My benchmark baby was conceived on our honeymoon - just not by us. I heard yesterday the lucky parents are expecting their second.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07336643483655255680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-50649855053598973172009-04-19T09:45:00.000-05:002009-04-19T09:45:00.000-05:00Ha - a "benchmark baby." Never heard tha...Ha - a "benchmark baby." Never heard that term, but I totally & grumpily get exactly what you mean. Rest assured, that term will be added to our official Knocktionary of KuKd-related vocabulary words, and you will get full linguistic credit. Great word.Monicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03081973190512198022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-18959158563386120382009-04-19T09:29:00.000-05:002009-04-19T09:29:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Ramblerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06095698168514644000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-34823373868188918072009-04-19T09:11:00.000-05:002009-04-19T09:11:00.000-05:00I've got a couple because it seemed a whole mess o...I've got a couple because it seemed a whole mess of my friends tried to get pregnant the same time I did. I sometimes it'seasier when they hit the terrible threes. Well until all the other mothers are saying, "They'll grow out of it in a few years when they go to school"<br /><br />ACCCCKKK! I guess I want to be in denial and believe that we just have a little bit of something to fix. There's no getting around the fact that we're good and infertile now.Frauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09214380775773932745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4881629173943208551.post-78925052569257936292009-04-19T08:52:00.000-05:002009-04-19T08:52:00.000-05:00I have one too. my sister in law's son. he is also...I have one too. my sister in law's son. he is also about to turn one. which is how old our baby would be, if we hadn't lost her in our first miscarriage.<br /><br />beautiful post.Mohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01671855540466269330noreply@blogger.com